Merry Christmas

I have so much to write about with regards to Christmas, but it'll have to wait until another time. I can hardly hold my eyes open while I wait for pictures to upload on Shutterfly, then I'm headed for bed.

So, I will say just this: It has been a magical day. We have experienced Christmas through the eyes of a 3-year-old and there is nothing sweeter on this earth. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Nola's Nursery

I've spent the past 2 days working on Nola's nursery and I love the way it turned out! I was determined that it would be feminine without being pink.

Here's how it looked in October when it was our guest room: Since we redecorated Caleb's room Halloween weekend, Nola's room has been a big huge mess of unassembled crib, bits and pieces of baby stuff and Christmas gifts before they were wrapped. I just shut the door so I didn't have to look at it! Now, I can hardly keep myself out of there because I love it so much. Here's how it turned out:

This is the same view as above - looking in from the hallway.

Here's a close-up of Nola's sheet and bumper. This pattern is exactly what I wanted.

The mobile is a hand-me-down from Caleb's baby days - yes, they are Razorbacks and it plays the fight song. The plaque on the wall is from my nursery when I was an infant and has the prayer "Now I lay me down to sleep" on it. The rocker is the one that my mom had when I was a baby.

This is where I'll be spending lots of time in the next few months. I found the lamp at Hobby Lobby yesterday and just had to get it since it was 50% off! The oval sign on the wall says, "Whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely...think on these things. Phil 4:8" I found these framed glass squares at Hobby Lobby a couple of weeks ago and was heartbroken when they didn't have the L. When I went back yesterday, they not only had all of the letters that I needed, but they were on sale! Hanging them was quite a challenge - they didn't want to hang straight or even and I almost had a hormonal fit over it, but I persevered. I think I might have scared Rudy a little bit. :)

This is the hodge podge of things that I chose for the wall to the left of the changing table. The giraffe picture was a Christmas gift last year from my mom. We have a thing for giraffes that I can't even explain because it really has no meaning other than that we both like them. I like that I was able to incorporate it into Nola's room - maybe she'll continue the giraffe tradition. The clock and the two hooks are really cool too. The red rectangle has a glass doorknob on the bottom - perfect for hanging a keepsake of some sort. The other hook has a picture of a chandelier - very feminine. I just like the clock because it has a vintage feel to it.

This is the changing table/dresser that is on the wall to the left when you walk in the door. I made the memo board on the right today. I'm looking forward to putting Nola's birth announcement on it! The picture frames are also Hobby Lobby purchases that I really like - I just can't wait to put pictures of Nola in them!

The artwork by the window is a really pretty collection of scrolls, patterns and fleur-de-lis. It's brown and cream. I like the idea of putting a few fleur-de-lis in Nola's room since she's named after the city of New Orleans.

Christmas Break, part one

Let me start with some good news! Memmie went to the ENT yesterday and found out that her infection is being caused by a tooth. The ENT wants her to have some teeth pulled and he feels like that will take care of the situation. Hallelujah! Hopefully, pulling the teeth will take care of the pain and the infection will then be able to clear up. Mary and Ron are at her house now, so they are taking care of her and making sure that things get taken care of.

We've enjoyed our Christmas break so far and it's only Tuesday night! After Caleb's program and party on Friday, we went to dinner and then drove around to look at Christmas lights. Caleb keeps asking us why we don't have lights on our house. Ugh - I hate to even think about it!

On Saturday, we went over to see Grandma and Ken for a while since she was released from the hospital on Friday. She's doing really well and getting stronger every day. After visiting with them for a while, we made a quick trip through the grocery store to stock our shelves. When we got home, I made some chocolate "puppy chow" and then a chicken pot pie. After dinner, it was time to embark on my adventure of baking with a preschooler. Here's the recipe I decided to use (copied from my Facebook status):

Mix 1 cup of patience, 1 cup of insanity & 1 cup of making memories. Pour half of the bowl on the floor and countertops, pick eggshells out of dough, put the rest in the oven and hope for the best.

It turned out to be a fun time. We did break & bake cookies first, because I figured that would be all the patience and attention span I'd get from Caleb. He surprised me, though. He hung in there for the peanut butter kiss cookies too. I measured the ingredients and he helped me pour them in the bowl, then we did some hand-over-hand mixing. The hardest part was trying to keep him from eating the dough. He did break some pieces of eggshell into the dough, but I think I got them all out. He loved helping to put the kisses on top of the cookies and of course, eating them too.

On Sunday, we went to Ft. Smith to meet the family of Jan's fiance, Bill. Todd & Tammy and their kids and Chris were supposed to be there too, but their flights all got messed up by a huge winter storm on the east coast. Rudy, Caleb and I enjoyed meeting the Beaty family and visiting with them. Later that afternoon, we went over to Spiro to see Grandma and Grandpa Morris. They gave Caleb 2 of the loudest imaginable cars for Christmas and he loves them! I have designated them as playroom-only toys. We stayed at their house for a couple of hours, then stopped at Jan's on our way back to get her car. We drove her car and ours back home so that Chris would have a car to drive on Monday. Rudy picked him up at the airport at 11:00 Sunday night and he slept on our couch.

We got up on Monday morning and hit the ground running. While Rudy went to the dentist, I took Caleb to get a haircut and his follow-up H1N1 shot. When we were finished with those errands, I dropped Caleb off at daycare and picked up Stacy for lunch. After lunch, we went to Hobby Lobby to look for some accessories for Nola's nursery. I hit the jackpot, since almost everything I wanted was on sale 50% off! I dropped Stacy off at home and came home myself to get started on the ultimate to-do list. I worked on Nola's room and several other projects while Rudy cooked beans and cornbread for supper. Ken, Kathy and Grandma came over for dinner and we enjoyed our time with them. Caleb was on his best behavior, which made the evening just that much better!

This morning, Rudy took Caleb to daycare and came home to tackle that stubborn to-do list again. We managed to finish Nola's nursery and I did laundry (including lots of baby stuff). Rudy got all of the baby gear out of the attic so I can start sorting through it and cleaning it up the rest of the break. I also managed to rearrange and clean out a bunch of stuff in my closet to make room for the scrapbook stuff that I had been storing in Nola's closet. Rudy made a run to Goodwill to donate some of the stuff that we could live without. Tonight, we had leftovers for dinner and continued to chisel the to-do list. Caleb was excited about all of the baby stuff and wanted to help me put away all of the tiny little clothes and blankets. He was so sweet!

Wow - all of that and we've only been off work 2 days! Tomorrow is busy again. Rudy is cooking a turkey for the church Christmas dinner and I'm helping decorate. After that, I have to go to Sam's to get the stuff that I'm supposed to take for Christmas Eve dinner. I think we'll take Caleb for the annual Santa picture tomorrow since it's our last chance. Hopefully, he'll stay relatively clean at school so we can go right from there. If not, we'll go tomorrow evening. Then, it's actually Christmas EVE! Yay!!!

Christmas Program and Party

Last Friday, I bolted for the door as soon as school was out. Not only was I excited about being off work for 2 weeks (!), but I had plans to see the cutest little shepherd ever in his Christmas program at daycare. Caleb wasn't really excited about being a shepherd. He really wanted to be a sheep. I tried to tell him that the shepherds are the bosses of the sheep, but he didn't buy it. I got the best seat I could when I got to the church, but my seat was still not good for taking pictures. Rudy's spot was even worse for shooting video. (I was astonished by how rude some of the parents were - standing up in front of people and sitting in the aisle. I would have loved to have had a better view too, but I wouldn't dream of getting in someone else's way to do it!)

I could tell when Caleb came down the aisle that he wasn't happy about what was happening. I thought getting his attention would make him feel better. No such luck. He went on down the aisle with the rest of his class, but he certainly wasn't performing. His teacher, Ms. Elizabeth, was so sweet to hold his hand through the whole thing. He kept looking at me and I would just smile really big at him to try to get him to relax. Nope - not having it. Here are some pictures of the sad little shepherd: After the program, we went back to Caleb's classroom for his party. He did manage a smile for me since the spotlight was off. Like I said earlier, cutest little shepherd ever!

The party was almost as chaotic as last year's. Caleb's classroom is pretty small and when you put all of those kids AND their parents in there, it is quite overwhelming. The kids had some snacks and then they opened the presents that everyone brought to give to the classroom. Ms. Elizabeth gave each of the kids a coloring book and sticker set. We gave her a scarf and glove set for those cold days on the playground.
And of course, there's a Calebism to wrap up this post. After the program (which is a very abbreviated version of the Christmas story), the announcer says, "In keeping with American tradition, here comes Santa Claus!" (I know. I thought it was a little odd too.) So this skinny guy in a Santa suit comes down the church aisle and greets all of the kids. Afterwards, Caleb looks at me and says, "See, Mama! I TOLD you Santa was real." I just said "okay" and we went to the classroom. He can believe what he wants and I'm not going to force the issue otherwise, but he'll never be able to say that I didn't tell him the truth about it.

Here's the video from the program. It's choppy and you can't see or hear much, but I'm putting it on here for posterity:

Caleb's Prayer

Caleb has been saying "God is great, God is good..." at dinner for over a year now. He has been saying "Now I lay me down to sleep..." for a long time too. Tonight was the first time he has "freestyled" a prayer. Rudy put him to bed and they said a Christmas prayer for Aunt Kathy. After they were finished, Caleb closed his eyes really tight and said, "Hey, Jesus. Can you please make a rainbow?"

Good News and an Update on all the Rest

We found out yesterday that Nana's tumor was in fact malignant, but that the doctors caught it in time. It was designated stage 1-2 and she doesn't have to have any further treatment. Her colostomy will be reversed in a few months. Rudy just got home from visiting her at the hospital and said that she is being released tomorrow. Hallelujah - I'd say this is just short of a Christmas miracle!

There isn't any new information right now about my grandmother. She's still fighting her oral infection and has a follow-up appointment on Monday. Hopefully, we'll know more then, but I'm not holding my breath for any definitive answers. I just hope they can help relieve some of her pain.

I haven't had any more blood pressure problems this week (knock on wood). I've actually felt pretty good, other than being generally uncomfortable. Nola is moving a lot and pushing pretty hard on my ribs, sternum and hipbones. My appointment on Tuesday was uneventful. I was only there for 10 minutes - just a measure and a heartbeat. While I'm definitely glad to hear that each and every time I go, these 2 week check-ins are pretty routine.

Caleb is doing much better too. He has had a good week at school and his cough is improving. He still gets pretty choked up sometimes, but he's doing fine. We'll be able to stop using the humidifier soon. Behaviorally, he's had a few tough days. I don't know any kids who aren't having tough days right now. The buildup to Christmas is almost unbearable for them. Things are out of routine and there's just so much excitement. Caleb has been whiny and fussy and has spent quite a bit of time in timeout lately. He's even gotten a couple of spankings when the timeouts just weren't cutting it. On Tuesday night, Rudy and I had reached our max with him after multiple trips to timeout and 2 spankings. Rudy put him in the bathtub right after dinner and I heard Caleb say, "Daddy, I having a hard day." I don't know how Rudy kept a straight face. What does a 3 year old know about a hard day??? Things are getting better now, though. Caleb and Rudy have found a new game to play. They go around the house pretending they are tigers - the daddy tiger and the big boy tiger. They pretend to eat Caleb's stuffed animals and Caleb thinks that's the most fun that has ever been had by anyone. Whatever it takes!

Last night, I had a hair appointment at 3:30 that took THREE HOURS. I ended up being 2 hours late for the SLP Christmas party, but the girls forgave me and we had a great time. I got home about 9:30 and Caleb was awake because his foot was hurting (growing pains again!). I went in to give him a kiss and he was so glad to see me. It was the perfect end to a good day. He told me that his friends at school woke him up yesterday at naptime and it "made him crazy." Apparently, he told his teacher the same thing.

Tomorrow is our last day of school for 2009! Hallelujah and Praise Be! Caleb's school program is at 3:30 and his party is right after that. He will be a shepherd in the program and I'll be taking lots of pictures. Should be fun...

Comic Relief Calebisms

Just because sometimes you need a little comic relief in stressful times...

Mom and Mr.L. came up this past Saturday. Mom wanted to see our Christmas decorations and they offered to watch Caleb for us so we could go to the Schmidts' annual party. They only spent one night, but it was so good to have them here while Rudy was at the hospital on Saturday. That afternoon, Caleb decided he would play Santa. He picked up Mr.L's Christmas present that I had wrapped on Friday night and took it to him. He said, "Here, Pops, I have a prize for you. It's 2 shirts." I guess Pops won't be getting any surprises for Christmas this year...

Caleb has also picked up a few phrases from his new favorite TV show, Phineas and Ferb. He chooses to use them at the funniest times. His most common ones are "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and "I know what we're going to do today!" The best part about it is that it took me a couple of times before I realized that he was quoting the show. I thought he had just come up with that all on his own.

Caleb has been very attached to me for about a week now. He wants to be with me all the time. He wants to sit in my lap, give me hugs, hold my hand and basically not leave my side. He even randomly tells me he loves me. He will stop everything he's doing and say, "I love you, Mama." This is not normal behavior. He's usually much more attached to his Daddy than me. Even though it can get overwhelming sometimes, I'm soaking up as much of it as I can, because I know it won't last. We're not sure if it's that he's realizing that the baby is coming soon or if he's just feeling protective of me because of the baby or if it's just a phase he's going through all on his own. Whatever it is...the boy is currently in love with his Mama. Case in point: Yesterday was a tough day for us. Neither of us felt that great and Rudy wasn't home, so we spent a lot of time watching TV, playing and trying to entertain ourselves without overdoing it. We made all of the footprint/handprint reindeer drawings and colored all of the pictures I could handle. We played cars, tried to watch the Polar Express (man, that movie is long!) and worked puzzles. I offered for Caleb to go outside in the afternoon when the sun was shining, but he said he didn't want to because he didn't feel good. Caleb asked me if I felt bad too and I told him I had a headache. He said, "It's okay, Mama, I'll take care of you." So stinkin' sweet...



And one last funny one:
Just this afternoon when I picked him up from school I told Caleb that we needed to run some errands. His response: "Can we run on the sidewalk so the cars won't hit us?" He should know better than to think I would actually run somewhere!

'Twas the Week Before Christmas

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through our house, we're tired and we're praying and we're afraid to ask what else...

Caleb ~ Croup
Caleb came down suddenly with croup last Tuesday night. It was a long, fairly sleepless night, but he didn't have a fever and seemed a little better in the morning (should've been my first clue!), so we took him to daycare. Rudy took him to the pediatrician on Wednesday afternoon and he was diagnosed with croup. The pediatrician wanted to put him on Orapred, but Rudy stood his ground and refused it because Caleb had such a terrible behavioral change the last time he was on it. That meant a steroid injection was the only other option. Poor little guy had to have a shot in each thigh. He was NOT impressed with that idea. Rudy stayed home with him on Thursday and they ran some errands and hung out at the house. I came home Thursday afternoon in time for Rudy to go to his Christmas rehearsal for the gig he was playing in Springdale.

Haley ~ Blood Pressure
On Friday, I took Caleb to daycare and went to work like normal. I was looking forward to a productive day at work. At about 9:00, I went to make some copies and got really light-headed and nauseated. I went into the nurse's office and asked her take my blood pressure. She looked at me like I was crazy and told me that my blood pressure was only 70/40. I told her I felt like I was going to be sick and she sent me to her bathroom with a chair to sit in. I never did get sick, but told her I needed to go home. She made me promise to call my OB's office and arranged a ride home for me while I went to get my purse. When I got home, I called the phone nurse at Dr. Ford's office. She told me that blood pressure that low was either a sign that I was coming down with something (like the stomach flu that was going around school) or that I was dehydrated. She told me to drink some pedialyte and rest. If I didn't get sick, that meant I was just dehydrated and needed to increase my fluid intake. Sure enough, I guzzled some pedialyte and slept a couple of hours and woke up feeling much better except for a headache. It was a scary morning, but turned out okay. Since then, I've started drinking 2-3 small gatorades a day to make sure I'm hydrated and my electrolytes are up.

Grandma Voise ~ Colon Cancer
Rudy slept with Caleb Friday night because he still wasn't feeling great and was waking up with a stuffy head repeatedly. After waking up off and on all night, they didn't get out of bed until almost 8:30. Later in the morning, Rudy noticed that he had a phone message from his mom. She had called earlier and said that his grandmother was in the hospital here in Rogers, so he spent the majority of the day up there. The doctor admitted her for intestinal blockage and she had a colonoscopy on Saturday. The colonoscopy showed a blockage, but they said it was treatable. On Sunday, they followed up with further testing and determined that it was a tumor. She had surgery on Sunday afternoon to remove a malignant tumor from her colon. We are still waiting on the pathology report to determine if the malignancy has spread and what stage of cancer she is in. That will determine the next step and the course of action that will be taken to treat her. She'll be in the hospital the rest of the week for sure. Rudy went by the hospital tonight to see her and said that she is in pretty good spirits, but is getting tired of being there. After he visited with her, Caleb and I met him, Doug and Kathy for pizza. Doug is in town until Wednesday and Ken is coming on Thursday.

Memmie ~ Bone Infection
As I mentioned previously, I went to Little Rock on Monday (11/7) to take my grandmother to a doctor appointment. She had another appointment today - this time with an ENT at UAMS. Thank goodness our longtime family friend (and practically a family member in her own right), Pat, was able to go with her. I just couldn't take another day off and my aunt and uncle can't be here until this weekend. She doesn't NEED anyone to go with her, but it sure is helpful to have someone there to ask questions and gather information to share with everyone else. Well, the doctor today didn't really have any answers either. He did order another CT scan and a follow-up appointment afterward. The next appointment is next Monday. He put her back on another round of antibiotics between now and then. Hopefully, we'll get more information at the next appointment.

So, as I told someone earlier today - our familial plate is full. This is a busy week for Rudy and I at work and just a busy time of year in general. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, which comes with its own set of trials and triumphs. I keep singing "Be Still and Know (that I am God)" to calm my thoughts. I am so grateful that we only have 5 more days of work before we're off for 2 weeks.

Prayer Request Update

Please continue to pray for the Crumby family. Hannah Grace passed away this morning. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and loss that her parents feel right now and will continue to feel for the rest of their lives. I am relieved for little Hannah, as she is no longer suffering and now walks the streets of Heaven whole and healed, but my heart breaks for her family members who have to find the strength to go on without her.

Please also continue to pray for my Memmie. I drove down to go to her appointment with her yesterday. I left Rogers at 8:45 after dropping Caleb off at school and getting my oil changed. I got to my grandparents' house at about 11:15. We went to the wound center and filled out about a million forms. Seriously - it took us almost an hour! I went back into the exam room with her so that I could ask questions and take notes on what the doctor and nurses had to say. We were back there for 2 hours. Fortunately, Memmie's sister and our dear family friend, Pat, came to the appointment and were able to sit with Poppie in the waiting room. The nurse asked a million questions and then the doctor came in and told us that there really isn't anything that he can do at the wound center b/c they don't do facial stuff. This was very frustrating for us, but I chalked it up as one step in the road to finding out what exactly the problem is. The wound center tried to refer her to an oral surgeon but couldn't find one who takes Medicare, so they are sending her to an ENT at UAMS on Monday. While we were there, the doctor was able to swab the lesion on her jaw to determine what kind of infection she has in that external site. We should know something from that by Thursday.

When we got back to the house, I wrote out my notes from the appointment so that they would have them and then went over them with both of my grandparents. I also made them a to-do list with things that they are supposed to follow up on.

I left there at 5:45 to drive the 3 1/2 hours back home. I talked to my mom for an hour, then to my aunt Mary who is a nurse practitioner. She was able to shed some light on some of the things that the doctor talked about and we both agree that there are some other tests that need to be done to get to the bottom of this. Mary is going to try to talk to Memmie's doctor to get the ball rolling on that.

In the meantime, Memmie is trying to manage her pain and Poppie is trying to make sure that she's taken care of. They are a pretty good pair. I guess they have lots of practice after being married for over 60 years.

Please pray for guidance for the doctors that are going to be treating her. We're also praying for her strength and will as she goes through this difficult time. It pains me that I can't be there for all of her appointments to help with asking questions and interpreting (to the best of my ability) what the doctors are telling her, but I know that I have responsibilities here and simply can't get away at this point. So, prayers are requested and would be greatly appreciated. I'll try to keep some updates on this site for those of you who are willing to pray along with us.

Deciduous Daddy (a Calebism)

Lately, Caleb has been pretty fascinated with the fact that the trees changed colors and now have lost their leaves. He and Rudy talked about it on Sunday and Rudy explained (again) how the leaves change and come off of the trees in the fall, the trees have no leaves in the winter and then in the spring, they come back again.

Last night Caleb was rubbing Rudy's head and said, "Daddy, maybe your hair will come back in the springtime."

Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Even Rudy thought so.

Heartfelt Prayers

I have 2 very specific prayers on my heart tonight and can't help but share them.

First, Rudy and I are praying for the Crumby family. James and Kim Crumby were acquaintances of ours in college. Rudy knew them from band and I knew them through Rudy. We haven't seen them since then, but through Facebook and other avenues, we have learned about their daughter, Hannah Grace. In the fall, Hannah Grace was diagnosed very suddenly with leukemia. She became very sick very fast and is now at Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock. Recently, James and Kim had to make the heart-wrenching decision to take Hannah Grace off of her ventilator. The ventilator was removed this morning. As of this evening, Hannah Grace is still hanging in there, but her family knows that it is only a matter of time before Jesus calls her home to Heaven. You can read Kim's journal online (www.caringbridge.org/visit/hannahgracecrumby), but I warn you - you will need lots of tissues. Rudy and I have both cried reading her story and Kim's amazing words of faith and strength. Tonight I pray that God will continue to give Kim that same strength as the darkest days are ahead of her.

My second prayer tonight is for my grandparents. My grandmother has been fighting an infection in her mouth since September. Her doctor has given her several rounds of antibiotics and she has even had some teeth removed, but nothing has helped. Last week, she went back to the doctor and he biopsied the site of the infection. As a result of the biopsy, she went to the hospital for a CT scan. The doctor at the hospital diagnosed her with osteomyelitis - an infection of the bone. Tomorrow, she is going to a wound center for further consultation. My grandfather called me Friday night. I always know something is up when he calls instead of her. When I asked what was going on, he said, "Memmie's in bad shape." I choked back the lump in my throat and managed to ask the details -writing down everything he said. He told me that she is barely able to eat and has dropped to 88 pounds. She is supplementing with Ensure, but continues to lose weight. She is in a lot of pain as well. I asked him if he wanted me to come down to Little Rock on Monday to go with him to the appointment and he answered with some relief, "I would sure like that." So, I am taking the day off work tomorrow to go with Memmie and Poppie to the doctor. I'll leave in the morning after I drop Caleb at daycare and plan to come home after the appointment. It's a 3 1/2 hour drive, so that's a lot of time in the car for this pregnant girl, but it's my responsibility and my desire to be with them, so I'll go. I hope to have good news and some straight answers after seeing the doctor.

Please pray for the Crumbys tonight and in the days and weeks to come. Hug your children extra tight in the morning...just because you can.
And pray for my grandparents - that she will get some relief and some good news at the doctor tomorrow.

Advent Update

Week one of the Advent calendar has come and gone. It has been sort of a rollercoaster experience. Some days are GREAT, some days are not-so-great. How do you teach a child to be appreciative? I know it's his age, but I get so aggravated when Caleb is ungrateful for the small items in his Advent sock. Tonight, he got stickers and said, "I already have those. I'm throwing them away." I thought I was going to wring his neck. I work with so many kids who are ungrateful. I refuse to have a child who is that way. As he gets older, I will look for ways to teach gratitude. Right now, my fear is that he will be embarrassingly rude to someone when he opens a Christmas present. I would be absolutely mortified if he said something like that to one of his grandparents or great-grandparents.

The things in the socks aren't what it's all about. I kind of wish I hadn't put them in there at all. I wish I had just done the activities. So far, those have been pretty well received. We've watched Charlie Brown Christmas, read books and read the Christmas story with the Nativity set as props.

This past Friday night, Jan came in to spend the night with us. She was excited to participate in our Advent activity. We made pine cone birdfeeders. Caleb LOVED it. I put peanut butter on the pinecones and then Caleb put the birdseed on them. He thought that was the coolest thing ever.

On Saturday, our activity was going to see a kids' theater production of The Polar Express at the Bentonville Library. Caleb loved going to the library and liked watching the kids, but his favorite part was getting to clap for them. He got a little tired toward the end and laid down in the floor to play with his car. At least he didn't make a bunch of noise or ask to leave. I considered it a success.After the performance, Jan, Caleb and I met Rudy for lunch at Einstein's. Caleb loved having his Grandma in town and going to lunch with her.

After lunch, we went over to Nana's to hang our birdfeeders. We only have one little puny tree in our yard, but Nana's house is in a wooded area, so we thought the birds there would enjoy the seed. Nana had the stomach flu, so we didn't even go inside, but left the feeders in her backyard for her birds to enjoy. We came home and hung one of our feeders on our little tree as well.

Our weekend was a good one. Rudy and Caleb went to see some of Rudy's students play basketball yesterday. I went to a movie with Stacy last night. Caleb and Rudy tried to go for a hike this morning, but the trail was closed, so they played at Lake Atalanta instead. We played hooky from church this morning for the first time in a while. I've been having a really hard time sleeping and have gotten pretty worn down from it. I was finally getting some good sleep this morning, so we stayed home and I slept in. I finished up our Christmas cards today and did massive amounts of laundry. Caleb and I made some foam craft magnets for our Advent activity tonight and then he got to spend some time playing games on my computer, which he rarely does. He's getting the hang of using the mouse and likes it, but gets bored with it pretty quickly. I guess that's a good thing. He would much rather be playing with cars or playing football with his daddy.

30 Week OB Appointment

Today was my 30 week OB appointment. I have gained a total of 18 pounds. Dr. Ford said that everything is fine. She checked Nola's heartrate, which was 142. However, Nola made her work for it - she had the hardest time finding her heart. I was actually starting to get a little worried because it took so long. If I wasn't feeling almost constant movement, I would've been freaked out! I did take in a list of things to talk/ask about, which is very different for me - because I haven't had a lot of questions this time around.


1. I started my first topic with the disclaimer that I am not completely crazy (just hormonal and stressed) and asked Dr. Ford to take another look at the ultrasound pictures that I brought with me to assure me that I am, indeed, having a baby girl. I have had a recurring dream - sometimes 2 or 3 times a night - that we are in the delivery room and Dr. Ford hands me a baby boy. This has started to worry me. She looked at the pictures that I brought with me and said, "Yep, she's a girl. There's no doubt."


2. Also on the subject of the ultrasound pictures...I asked Dr. Ford for some assurance that everything is okay with Nola's craniofacial development. The ultrasound picture that we have of her face has a big gaping hole in her skull. She assured me that it's just the angle of the transducer and there's nothing to worry about.

(I'm pretty sure she was starting to think I was completely loony at this point.)


3. I asked about some medication that I took before my pregnancy that I'd like to start taking again. She said it was fine.


4. I asked about taking a tour of the hospital. She said that I could call and schedule that with the labor/delivery unit. I told her that I really didn't even know where it was in the hospital and she said it was probably a good idea to know where we are supposed to go. (Yeah - she was thinking I'm either crazy or a little slow on the uptake.)


5. I asked about Christmas travel. I was a little nervous about asking about this one, but needed to know now in case we needed to make other plans. She winced at the idea of me traveling 4 hours away when I'm 35 weeks pregnant, but reluctantly agreed - as long as we promise not to stay too long and not to do too much while I'm there. I assured her that my family does not live in rural places and that I have easy access to a hospital anywhere I go. She still said to come home as soon as possible. So, the plan is to go to Little Rock on the 26th for Christmas with the Hatch family, to Hot Springs on the 27th for Christmas with the Locke family and we'll be home no later than the 29th. Surely Nola won't decide to make her entrance during that 4 day time span. (fingers crossed...legs too)

I left there with an appointment for 2 weeks from today and a little more peace of mind than I went in with.

Looking for the Silver Lining

This is going to be one of those posts that is intended to cleanse my mind. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining - but I have to get this stuff off my chest and this is my medium for doing so.

You know how when it rains, it pours?

I am feeling exceptionally overwhelmed right now with all that I am juggling at work and at home. I'll start with work. My annual review conferences at work that are typically spread out over the whole school year are being crammed into the time before I take my maternity leave. That means that I am not only providing therapy services to almost 50 kids who are seen anywhere from 30-90 minutes per week, but I'm also holding 2-3 (sometimes 4-5) conferences with parents per week. Each of those conferences requires a minimum of 45 minutes of preparation. And if the parents don't show up, I have to reschedule them somewhere and make corrections on the paperwork so that the almighty dates line up. I'm also managing the typical caseload turnover, which includes testing and writing reports on a weekly basis. My job keeps me busy when things are on a normal schedule. Now, with my maternity leave pending, I'm working more hours per week than I have in a very long time - since I first started working and was just learning the ropes of time and caseload management. I try really hard not to bring work home because I cherish and value the time that I have with Rudy and Caleb, but lately I'm bringing a bagful of stuff home almost every night. I worked most nights over Thanksgiving break until at least midnight and still didn't get everything done that needed to be done.

Silver lining: There are 13 more days of school before Christmas break, which is 2 full weeks this year. Very few conferences remain on my schedule after Christmas. I will not be bringing any work home over Christmas break. I will be preparing my home for a baby and spending time with my family.

At home, the usual working mom things still need to be done. The laundry hasn't learned to do itself yet and though Rudy does most of our cooking, I try to pitch in and at least cook one or two meals a week. Plus, there's that little factor of my favorite 3-year-old in the world who needs a bath, a bedtime routine, some undivided attention from Mama and who makes great big messes and needs supervision for great big clean-ups.

Silver lining: I have an AMAZING husband who does more to keep our household going than most men I've ever met. He does all of our dishes, cooks most of our meals, LOVES to play with Caleb, takes care of the outside of our home, doesn't mind going to the grocery store and never gives me one second of grief about picking up the slack around here when I can't make it all come together because other things have pushed my home responsibilities to the backburner temporarily. I also have an AMAZING child who pushes every last button I have and then looks at me with those big blue eyes and says, "I love you, Mama." And then it's all okay. (I also have a pretty dang good housekeeper who comes every other week and keeps us from having to do the things that used to fill up our weekends: scrubbing toilets, vacuuming, mopping, dusting, etc.)

The third trimester of pregnancy is a roller coaster. Despite the amazing silver linings that I'll talk about in a minute, I am TIRED. I am uncomfortable. I am short of breath. I don't sleep well. I can't bend over to pick up the 5000 things a day that I drop on the floor. My mind is beginning to race about all of the things that need to be done between now and the end of January. (After all, my due date is in 2 months.) A friend at school reminded me yesterday that I need to have a plan in place for if I should have to go to the hospital during the night. What will we do with Caleb? Oh, yeah - there's something I didn't have to think about last time! Now, I'm wondering what else I've forgotten to plan for. In addition, it (unnecessarily) stresses me that Nola's room is a big heaping pile of a mess right now. I've tried to calm myself a little by just shutting the door, but it's not helping. I also know that my Christmas break is going to be jam-packed with baby preparation, which is fun but admittedly tiring. There are cabinets to be rearranged to make room for bottles, closets to be cleaned out to make room for her stuff, a nursery to be put together, clothes and supplies to be bought, baby gear to be gotten out of storage after 3 years and cleaned up to like-new condition...and the list goes on and on.

Silver lining: Nola will be here in approximately 2 months. My baby girl will make it all worthwhile.

And then there are those days like today... I got up at 5:50 after a mostly sleepless night where I laid in bed thinking of everything that I need to do before the baby comes, both at work and at home. I dropped Caleb off at daycare and got to work at 7:30. I took care of odds and ends until I saw my first therapy group at 8:00. I saw kids back-to-back until 2:30 with two 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch. I had after school duty outside until 3:10. I went out to my car to go to my OB appointment, only to see that there was a nail in one of my back tires. The tire wasn't low, so I went on to my appointment. I left the appointment, picked up Caleb from daycare (thankfully he was in a good mood!) and went straight to WalMart to get my tire fixed. That was at 4:45. We walked through the store until I couldn't listen to him asking for me to buy another thing, then walked across the street to get something to eat. We ate fast food dinner, while I looked out the window at my car - still sitting in the parking lot at WalMart, yet to be fixed. When I finally saw them pull my car into the service bay, we walked back across the street. Thirty minutes later, we left WalMart with a fixed tire, a $5 Christmas movie, a pair of gloves for Caleb and some glove clips so that maybe he won't lose this pair as quickly as he's lost the rest. We pulled in the driveway at 7:00 - almost exactly 12 hours after we pulled out - only to find that the garage door opener didn't work and the garage keypad didn't work for my side. I was thankful that the keypad worked for Rudy's side, so I went in and opened the door, pulled in and exhaled. Caleb and I came in and I got him settled to watch his nightly 30 minutes of TV while I changed clothes and shook off the remains of the day. Once I was somewhat settled, we got down the Advent sock for today, which said that we were supposed to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas. (Hallelujah!) I turned that on, sat down for a few minutes and folded some laundry. When the movie was over, I steered Caleb to put on his PJ's & brush his teeth, we said our Christmas prayer for Pepapa and Anna Joyce (from the Advent calendar!) and his nightly prayer, I tucked him in and closed the door. I finished the laundry as Caleb got out of bed 3 different times for 3 different reasons. Once I was sure he was finally down for the count - I began to process the day and, thus, started writing here. So, it's been one of those days. (By the way, Rudy had to work until almost 9:00 tonight! That's why Caleb and I were on our own through all of this.)

Silver lining: I have a job to go to in the mornings and a warm, safe place to come home to in the evenings (regardless of what time that happens). I have a nice, reliable car and I have the means to take it to get minor repairs done without having to worry about where the money will come from. I didn't have to call in absent to a second job to take care of this unexpected inconvenience, and I had pretty good company to share the adventure with - even if he does have a bad case of the gimmes when we go in a store.

AND...I forgot to mention that I tried to take a picture of the Advent calendar and the Christmas tree last night only to find out that there is a HUGE crack in the lens. I'm hoping and praying that it's just the UV filter that's broken, not the $250 lens itself. I'm taking it to Bedford's tomorrow. I swear I will cry if my actual lens is broken. I will cry real tears. I have no idea how this happened. The camera was in its padded case with the lenscap on. The case was sitting on the couch because I had uploaded some pictures Sunday night. I can only assume that either the housekeepers did it or -gasp- Caleb did it while goofing around. Either way, it was definitely an accident, so I'm not trying to place blame anywhere. But, seriously, my camera is broken. Just one more flake in an ever-growing snowball of frustration.

Silver lining: The sun will rise tomorrow. I won't take a picture of it, but the sun will rise and life will go on. And if it doesn't, I will be in a better place, where none of this matters.

Advent Night 2

Day 2 was better.
He asked for his sock.
He was excited to get 2 stickers.
He then got mad b/c he couldn't get the stickers off the paper and threw them away.
He wanted another sock.
I wouldn't give it to him.

Fortunately, the activity of reading the Christmas story (preschool version) while acting it out with the Little People nativity set was a big hit. He was impressed that I knew their names.

I count the small successes...

Advent

In an effort to make Christmas more meaningful this year and to try to start a family tradition that my kids will remember from their childhoods, I made an advent calendar. I got the basic idea from an old Martha Stewart magazine and adapted it to meet what I wanted it to be. I went to the dollar store in Hot Springs and bought 13 pairs of Christmas socks and enough little trinkets to fill each one. This weekend, I hung a ribbon on one of our walls and clothespinned the socks to the ribbon. Each clothespin has a date on it. Every day, we will take down that sock to see what trinket is inside. Also inside the sock is a piece of paper with an activity for us to do together, a special person to pray for and a simplified to preschool level Bible verse.

After church today, we took down the first sock. (Today is the first Sunday of Advent, even though it's not December yet.) Here's how it went:

Sock contained a chocolate covered marshmallow snowman.
Caleb's Response: "I don't like marshmallows!!!!" (He ended up eating it hours later and loved it.)
Planned Activity: wrap presents.
Unspoken purpose of activity: celebrate God's gift to us and giving gifts to others.
Result: After much whining about not being able to open presents, we explained that the presents stay under the tree until Christmas, when all the socks are gone. This placated him temporarily. He still really wants those baby trucks we got for his 9 month old cousin, though.
Other Result: Caleb and Rudy "sword fighting" and making funny voices with empty wrapping paper tubes while I wrapped presents.

Tonight at bedtime, we did pray for Memmie and Poppie, like the paper said we would. We also talked about what the Bible is (a book to teach us about God) and the simplified version of a lengthy verse in Isaiah. (We will be happy.)
Caleb's answer: "Not sad or angry?"
My answer: "No, God wants us to be happy."
Caleb's answer: "But you and Daddy always angry." (Just for clarification - in Caleb's world "always"means it has happened before, just like "last night" is anytime that is not right now.)
My answer: "Daddy and I get angry when you make bad choices, but we like to be happy when you make good choices. God likes it too."
Caleb's answer: "Okay, can we read a book about that real Santa?"

On that note, we're sticking with our original plan to not pretend that Santa is real. It's not easy, I tell you. Everywhere you look, there is something with Santa and everywhere we go, someone asks Caleb what Santa is bringing him for Christmas. I've struggled with how to handle it, but I'm sticking to my guns. Today, Caleb asked me, "Mama, will you call Santa and tell him I want one of those for Christmas?" Once again, I explained that Santa is pretend just like the other characters on TV and that his Christmas presents come from Mama and Daddy and the other people who love him. I'm not pushing it and I'm not preaching it, but when the questions come up, that's how I answer them. I know it's confusing to him to get mixed messages from us and the rest of the world, but I'd rather him be confused now rather than later when he's older and figures out that we've been lying to him all along.

So, tomorrow is the 2nd day of Advent. I wonder how long it'll take him to get the hang of the tradition...and will it be one that we continue? I hope so.

Terrible Threes

For the past 3 years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 3 days, I have thanked God for the gift that is Caleb. I have thanked Him for the opportunity to be a part of the life of such an amazing little boy. I have thanked Him for giving me the wisdom to either know what to do or figure out what to do in every situation that has come up. I have thanked Him for Caleb's humor, curiosity, gentleness, lovingness and general good nature. Every day has not been easy. This blog is full of stories - mostly good and some bad - of what our life has been like since Caleb arrived. (We sometimes like to say it was when Hurricane Caleb made landfall.) But there has never been a day that I wasn't thankful for him and I still am today, despite all of this:

I can honestly say that we are in the middle of one of our toughest phases of parenting to date. Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but I have decided that three is a much harder age than two...INFINITELY HARDER. Caleb's typically even nature has turned into a roller coaster that takes us from sweet/loving/joyous one moment to mean/whiny/cranky the next. We never know what we're going to get from one situation to the next and we never know how he's going to respond to anything. Something that delighted him yesterday may send him into a tantrum today. He may be outgoing at one turn and downright spiteful within minutes.

Rudy and I both are experiencing this change in behavior, but I seem to get the brunt of it. He has even gone so far as to go out of his way to purposefully step on my foot as he walked through a room. We're not sure if this has to do with the baby coming soon, a change in his routine at school (he's beginning a transition to a new classroom again), a growth spurt or just generally being three - or maybe a combination of all of the above. He has started to YELL at us when he doesn't want to do what we ask, ignore us blatantly and turn his back on us when we correct him. Fortunately, he isn't hitting us, but he's not far from it. He whines ridiculously when things don't go his way and whining is one of my greatest pet peeves in children. We have tried to continue using the 1-2-3 Magic discipline strategy that has worked for us in the past, but the timeouts just lead to more frustration. We have used our last resort of spanking a few times, but only when absolutely necessary to get his attention. There are times when I feel so deflated by it all that all I can do is cry. (I know...hormones.) Rudy and I both are frustrated and sometimes just look at each other like we're not sure who this little creature is who has taken over our child's body and brain. I think we've done a pretty good job of balancing each other - stepping in when we know the other person has had just about enough or being able to say to each other, "I need you to handle this because I'm at my wit's end."

Last Saturday, Caleb and Rudy were playing outside for a few minutes and Caleb fell. He hit his head on the concrete patio. His behavior was so bizarre all weekend that I actually questioned how hard he hit his head. This fear was only compounded by him waking during the night, crying uncontrollably and not being able to tell me what was wrong. Fortunately, some Tylenol and a snuggle cured whatever was causing the crying. I actually slept with him that night to make sure I could check on him periodically and be there if he woke up again, though. He woke up the next morning feeling fine and his behavior evened out somewhat for most of Sunday, so I'm no longer worried about his fall.

It comforts me to know that my friends agree with me. I posted a status about my frustration on Facebook and was immediately inundated with "amen" and "us too" and "I agree" comments. It doesn't make it any easier, though. The only thing that makes it easier is those moments in between tantrums when our normal Caleb is around, giving hugs and laughing and being silly. I revel in the times when he wants to snuggle or play instead of argue or whine. I know that what does not kill us will only make us stronger...and we're going to need the strength to get through age three again with Nola.

Sleep Talking, Cookies, a Sunday Hike and Christmas Lights

Last Friday (11/20), I was excited to have a night out with some friends from work. We went to see the latest Twilight movie, New Moon, and then went out afterward for dinner. Caleb and Rudy had a boys' night at home, which I hear was uneventful. I got home late with my cheeks hurting from laughing so much. I decided to sleep with Caleb so that Rudy wouldn't have to tiptoe around the next morning while getting ready to go hunting.

When I went into Caleb's room, I first thought he had woken up. I soon realized that he was sound asleep, but talking out loud. I have no idea what he said, but he was definitely talking. I chuckled quietly as I crawled in bed with him and went to sleep. Sometime during the night, I woke up to find him clapping in his sleep. Whatever he was dreaming about must have been applause-worthy. I giggled again and went back to sleep. As usual, he was wide awake before the sun came up. I convinced him to stay in the bed until the "sun woke up," which he did, but as soon as he could see light outside, he was rip-roaring ready to go! We had a quiet morning at home, watching TV, doing laundry and playing. I, admittedly, dozed a couple of times on the couch while he was playing or watching TV, but never for long. He won't have that! As soon as he sees my eyes close, he yells, "Wake up, Mama!" In the meantime, he talked incessantly and managed to LITERALLY dump every single toy in his playroom into a heap in the middle of the floor.

When Rudy got home from his (thankfully uneventful) trip to the mountains, I managed to get a shower. He played with Caleb while I got dressed and then Caleb and I went to the grocery store to give him a few minutes to recharge his batteries that had been running since before 4:00 AM. While we were at the store, I decided that Caleb and I needed to actually DO something together. We had been together all day, but hadn't really done anything meaningful. We bought stuff to make cookies and he was so excited. He told everyone we saw that we were going to make them.

When we got home, I started a pot of veggie soup while Rudy supervised the Great Playroom Cleanup of 2009. Once that was done, Caleb and I took to the task of preparing the cookies. He stood on his stepladder and helped me crack the eggs and stir the dough, then put it on the cookie sheets. He smiled the whole time. The most amazing moment was when he leaned over on my shoulder and said, "Mama, you my best helper." I grinned at him and told him he was my best helper too. We put the cookies in the oven and then watched them bake.

While they were baking, he asked me what I estimate to be about the 7412th question of the day. When I told him "I don't know" he shrugged and said he would just ask his other mom. I quickly informed him that he didn't have another mom. His response: "Yes I do, Sweetie." While trying to suppress laughter at the fact that he called me Sweetie, I asked him who his other mom was. His response: "Daddy."

After dinner, when the cookies were all baked and cooled, we made an attempt at icing them and putting on sprinkles. Caleb helped me squeeze the icing on, put on a few sprinkles and then lost interest. He really just wanted to eat them. I couldn't blame him, so I gave him the biggest cookie in the batch and finished icing the rest myself.

After church on Sunday, Caleb and Rudy went for a hike at Tanyard Creek in Bella Vista. Rudy tells me that they had a good time. They love to hike together. I look forward to next fall when we can all go together. We'll strap Nola in the carrier and go out to enjoy God's nature as a family. However, this fall, I'm in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy and TIRED. I waved as they left and truthfully contemplated the idea of going out to cut back the mums and clean up the flowerbed. That contemplation quickly turned to a more realistic nap. I slept most of the time that the boys were gone and got up when they got home.

Sunday evening, we went to Fayetteville to make an attempt at getting a Christmas card picture at the Lights of the Ozarks in the square.

Caleb's willingness to take pictures lately has been somewhat limited. Sunday was no exception. A very nice family offered to take our picture if we would take theirs. Their 11 month old son was so cooperative and could even be convinced to look at the camera with a couple of whistles and giggles. Our 3 1/2 year old son was a whole different story. We got a series of pictures of Caleb looking off to the side, making faces and holding his hands in front of his face. After some serious bribery involving a pony ride, we did manage ONE decent shot out of about 20. I cropped it to make it work for our Christmas card. I'd have to say it was nothing short of our version of the Griswolds' trying to take a Christmas picture. By the time we were finished at the square, we were worn out and hungry. We treated ourselves to dinner at the Catfish Hole and it was delicious despite the fact that Caleb was behaving like he had never been in a restaurant before. More on that in another post.

On the other hand, Caleb fell asleep in the car on the way to Fayetteville and when I woke him up to tell him to look out the window, his expression was priceless. He said, "Oh! It's Christmas lights! They are beautiful!" I reminded myself several times that that was the real reason we went. I tried to look past the whining and the lack of cooperation and remember that short moment when he was mesmerized by the millions of little lights in the trees and on the buildings. That's what it was supposed to be about and in the end, it was. That's what he'll remember and that's what I hope to remember too.

Deer Camp 2009

Last year was Caleb's first time to go to deer camp. He loved it. He has talked about it all year. Anytime we try to call my parents and they don't answer, he thinks they must be at deer camp. He was so excited about going back this year. All through October, he would ask, "Is it Halloween yet?" because he knew that deer camp came after Halloween. With the fun that he had last year, we decided to extend the tradition and make a go of spending the whole weekend as a family at deer camp this year. Mom and Mr.L. have a really nice travel camper that we stay in when we go down there. It is somewhat spacious and there's room for everyone to sleep. There's a bathroom and a kitchenette in the camper. In addition, there's a shower and a full kitchen in the "big camp," which is actually a trailer that the rest of the guys stay in at camp. They have built on to the trailer so much that there is basically an outdoor kitchen as well. Of course, they have also rigged up the camp with DirecTV, so that you never miss a minute of football and they've installed a cell phone booster so no calls are missed. There are 4-wheelers to ride, stars to gaze at and (for Caleb) lots and lots of dirt to be played in. The campfire burns continuously and there's always someone to talk to sitting around the fire.

The friends that we have at deer camp are more of an extended family. Mr. L. has known them all for many years and everyone is always so welcoming to our family. Rudy has been so grateful for their welcome and for being invited to hunt with them - even if it does mean taking lots of good-natured ribbing about anything and everything imaginable. You're always guaranteed a good laugh at deer camp and you're pretty much guaranteed way too much really good food.

I was admittedly nervous about this year's trip. I reached 28 weeks of pregnancy on the day that we got to camp (11/13). It took us almost 4 1/2 hours to get there, leaving after working all day. Sleeping has not been easy for me for some time now. I toss and turn and take my body pillow with me each time. I was nervous about being able to sleep in the camper on a bottom bunk bed, hearing the sounds of 4 other people and not being able to easily get up and use the restroom during the night without waking up everyone else. I almost backed out. I almost sent Rudy and Caleb without me. I went through several scenarios in my mind from staying home to going to Hot Springs and just driving over during the day. I finally told myself to suck it up because it meant a lot to my family and I wanted to be part of the fun and the family tradition.

When we got to camp, it was pretty late. Caleb was beside himself with excitement. He sat in his little kid's camp chair and couldn't even say anything. He just beamed and grinned and literally shook with excitement. That was worth the long drive in itself. We finally got him calmed down and ready for bed and Mom and I took him to go to bed in the camper. I laughed as I wedged myself and my body pillow into the bottom bunk. I commented on Facebook that it was sort of like trying to pack a week's worth of clothes into an overnight bag. I read for a little while until Rudy and Mr.L. came in to go to bed. I made a concerted effort to go to sleep. My concerted effort lasted a few hours. I dozed off sometime during the night, only to wake up at about 2:30 when one of my campermates used the bathroom that was literally about 3 feet from my head (separated by a plywood wall of course). After that, it was all over. No more sleep for me. I was quite thankful to have my iPhone by my side and spent the next few hours honing my Sudoku skills and browsing Facebook. By the time the guys got up and went to breakfast at 4:30, I had made up my mind that I would not be spending Saturday night in the camper. I didn't want to interrupt anyone else's fun, so I devised a plan for going back to Hot Springs and meeting Rudy in Malvern on Sunday.

When Mom and Caleb got up, I unwedged myself from the bottom bunk and made my way to Mom and Mr.L's bed at the front of the camper. There, I found about 3 glorious hours of sleep. When I woke up, I got dressed and joined Mom and Caleb by the fire. I told Mom my plan for the day: stay at camp until the guys went back out for the afternoon/evening hunt, then leave for Hot Springs. I was going to take her car so that they would have the carseat for Caleb. She suggested that she and Caleb just come with me and we finally decided on that plan. Caleb spent the day riding the 4-wheeler with Pops and Daddy, playing in the dirt, throwing sticks in the fire and eating junk food. He was in absolute heaven! At about 2:00, we were all tired, so we decided to just leave a little early. Caleb was upset about leaving, but was so tired that he was sound asleep shortly after we made the turn out of camp.

When we got to Hot Springs, I practically made a b-line for the shower. I could not wait to get the smoke and dirt off of me. We ate dinner, gave Caleb a bath and all went to bed early. Caleb slept with Mom and I stretched out in my bed alone. I slept so hard that I never even woke up during the night - a rarity these days.

Sunday morning, Rudy called to say that he had gotten a deer - his first buck ever. It was an 8 point and he was pretty excited about it. That meant that we had a little extra time to hit the road, because he had to clean it and then get cleaned up and come to meet us in Malvern in Mom's car. We eventually met up and headed for home as Mom went back down to the camp for a couple more days.

It worked out fine. I learned my lesson. I'm not cut out for spending the night at deer camp. I love my family and love to spend time with them. Family time around that fire can never be replaced, but I'm not an outdoors person. I need a hot shower, a clean towel, a big comfy bed, walls that are made of sturdier stuff than aluminum and plywood, a room with a door, no spiders/walking sticks/lizards...basically, the comforts of home. In confessing all of this to Rudy and later to Mom, I came to realize that nobody expects me to like deer camp just because everyone else does. It's just fine if I don't want to spend the night. It's only a little over an hour back to Mom's house. I can go spend a day once or twice a year around that fabulous campfire, enjoy the laughs, the friends, the traditions...and then get in the car and go home and nobody thinks worse of me for it. Rudy and I agreed that me trying to spend a weekend at deer camp for the sake of togetherness is sort of like him trying to survive a scrapbook weekend for the same reason - it's just not the way we were meant to be together.

From now on, I'm excited about deer camp weekends! I get to enjoy the fun and watch Caleb (and the rest of my family) enjoy the fun...and then I get to go home, take a hot shower and sleep in a cozy bed. They can have the bugs, dirt and 4:30 AM breakfasts!

Gestational Diabetes?

I had my 27 week OB appointment on 11/12. It was the one I've been dreading. I had to take the gestational diabetes screening test. This is really not a big deal, except that I failed the screening last time and had to come back for the full-blown 3 hour needlefest. I narrowly passed that test and was determined not to have gestational diabetes in my first pregnancy. I was nervous about this one because I have noticed that I often don't feel so hot about 30 minutes after I eat. I even had a day when I just might have had a pumpkin muffin with cream cheese icing and hot chocolate for breakfast and thought I was going to die because I felt so awful. It was no fun - sweating, dizzy, heart racing, etc. I had all but convinced myself that I was bound to fail this screening and have to do the "big test" again only to find out that I was forbidden to eat sweets for the rest of my pregnancy including Thanksgiving and Christmas! I drank the super-sugary drink that I was given and an hour later, was in the lab having my blood drawn.

After my lab appointment, I saw Dr. Ford, who told me that "everything looks fine" just like she always does. She asked if I had any questions, I said no and we went our separate ways.

That was on a Thursday. I carried my phone around on Friday, anticipating the call from the lab. No call. I carried my phone around on Monday and Tuesday, anticipating the call. No call. On Wednesday, I called the office. The nurse pulled up my record and said that my screening results were within normal limits. HALLELLUJAH - pass the ice cream! The next week, I got a letter in the mail saying the same thing and did yet another happy dance.

Now I'm just watching myself to make sure I don't overindulge in sweets and trying to balance things with some protein. When I start to feel a little woozy, I eat some meat, cheese or peanut butter and I'm usually back to normal within a short time. I've tried to switch to Splenda-sweetened tea instead of drinking my normal one Coke per day. Just knowing that I don't HAVE to give up the sweets makes self-imposed moderation better. Plus - it means that Nola is more likely to be healthy and less likely to be gigantic. Both of these things bode well for me...and her.

A Moment of God's Grace

This past Sunday was communion Sunday at church. The first Sunday of the month always is. This was the first time we've been there for communion Sunday in a while. I was glad to see in the bulletin that children come back from children's church to be with their families for communion, but I wasn't sure how it would go with Caleb. First of all, he was in one of his strange moods. He was being obstinant as all get out one minute and clinging to me to snuggle the next minute.

The sermon series this month is on grace. As I listened to the sermon, little did I know that I would experience a moment of grace during communion.

When the children came back into the sanctuary, Caleb came over and climbed up in my lap.

The pastor offered the beautiful words of communion:
"This is my body, broken for you. Take, eat. Do this in remembrance of Me.
This is my blood, shed for you. Take, drink. Do this in remembrance of Me."

Then we filed out of our seats. Caleb was holding my hand and Rudy was standing behind us. When we got to the serving station, I told Caleb to do what I did and gave him a piece of bread from the basket. I dipped my bread into the cup and he followed suit. The server whispered to him, "Jesus loves you." My eyes filled up with tears and my heart filled up with grace.

She was right. The server who doesn't know my child knew that Jesus loves him because she knows that He loves all children - even the ones who don't sit quietly in their seats during the opening hymns, even the ones who make faces at the people in the pew behind them, even the ones whose Daddies have to take them out for a couple of minutes because they are fiddling with hymnals and making noise. The symbolism and meaning of Christ's body and blood given for me and, even more, for Caleb, was overwhelming in that moment. God's grace was evident. Caleb doesn't understand what happened in that moment. He doesn't yet understand the meaning of what I'm sure he thought was a really strange little snack at church. He won't understand those things for a long time, but that doesn't make the practice any less meaningful for our family to share.

As we took our seats and I fought back tears of emotion, I held my child in my lap and thanked God for the gift of my son and His.

Yes, Jesus loves Caleb. He loves me too. He loves me even when I'm impatient, even when I'm unkind, even when I get angry and, amazingly, even when I'm unfaithful to Him. God's grace is evident everyday. I just have to open my eyes to see it.

Our Final Gameday of 2009

Whew - what a weekend! We thought we were going to have to sell our Razorback game tickets (again) for this week's game against South Carolina, because our babysitting plans fell through. We couldn't think of anyone else that we could ask to babysit and we really couldn't afford to pay anyone for the 7 hours that would be involved, so I posted the tickets for sale on Facebook. I was shocked and so grateful when one of my fabulous co-workers offered to keep Caleb for free. God bless her for saving our final gameday of the year!

Chad and Ronni spent the night with us on Friday and Caleb had his first taste of giving up his big kid room so that it could be our guest room. He did okay with it because he got to sleep on his Lightning McQueen blow-up mattress in our room. I thought I was going to kill him before he finally went to sleep, but once he settled down, we were all fine.

We got up Saturday morning and hit the ground running. Rudy and I took Caleb to Bella Vista to spend the day with Mrs. Kat and her son, Luke. They had a great time and even though Kat won't let me pay her or even pay her back, I am indebted to her. Rudy and I made it to Fayetteville and found a parking spot that didn't require us to hike uphill before or after the game. (This was important for a woman who is 27 weeks pregnant and a man who pulled a hamstring playing softball last week.) We walked over to say hi to the Lyons crew at their tailgate spot and then made our way to the stadium to meet the Wisemans. They graciously offered us tickets in their luxury box again, so we were able to sell our tickets on our way into the stadium. (Yet another bonus!) The weather was beautiful, the game was great and we ended up beating South Carolina.

There is another game next week against Troy, but we aren't going because it's opening weekend of deer season and my family is all going to deer camp. Yep - we have become THOSE PEOPLE. The rest of the games are either away games or are being played in Little Rock, so we don't have tickets.

After the game we drove back up to Bella Vista to get Caleb. Kat said that the boys had a great time together and that they went for a hike at Tanyard Creek and had lunch at Chick-Fil-A. Caleb must have been in Heaven! He was tired, though. He fell asleep in the car on the way home, but as soon as Rudy laid him in his bed, he was wide awake and ready to go again.

I spent Friday evening Christmas shopping. I always like to have my shopping done before Thanksgiving if possible. It just seems like I enjoy the entire Holiday season more that way. I managed to get all of our gifts except for one and that one isn't available in Rogers. I'll have to get it the next time we go to Fayetteville. While I was out, I also made a wishlist for Caleb to share with his grandparents. I got home about 9:15 Saturday night and I was worn out! Somehow, though - I managed to work on the photo book that I always give to family for Christmas. I just need the November and December pictures and it's ready to be ordered! Hopefully, being proactive about Christmas shopping will make Thanksgiving and Christmas just that much more enjoyable this year!

Belly Dancing

You know what's stranger than feeling an unborn child moving inside of your belly? SEEING an unborn child moving inside of your belly. While it is incredibly cool and one of those experiences in pregnancy that I cherish and enjoy - it is still really strange to see my belly move on its own. It happened tonight for the first time with Nola. I remember Caleb kicking so hard one time that the TV remote fell off my belly.

I think Caleb may have felt her move on Sunday. He was sitting in what's left of my lap watching TV when I felt Nola do a little moving around. Caleb turned around and looked at me, then looked at my belly with an odd look on his face. He didn't say anything, but he did get up and move. How do you explain that to a 3-year-old? I didn't even try.

Rudy still hasn't felt Nola move. She does it all the time and I can feel her pretty often when I put my hand on my belly. For some reason, though, when Rudy tries to feel her movements, she stops. She's either so calmed by her daddy that she doesn't move when he's near or she's so stubborn that she doesn't want to put on a show for anyone. Which do you think we prefer?

Nola's Bedding

I picked out some bedding for Nola's room that I absolutely love!!! Guess what...it's NOT pink. I know you're shocked. It has been ordered and is on its way here as I type this! (Thanks, Mom and Mr. L.!)

Of course, I'm not getting the WHOLE set. That's a little bit overkill. I ordered the crib set (bumper, sheet, dust ruffle & quilt). I also got the changing pad cover and the pillow that will go in the rocking chair. I'm hoping to get the valance, but haven't ordered it yet. I decided against the lamp and rug. I don't want the hamper, diaper stacker or picture frames (!).

Isn't it beautiful?!? And it's girly/feminine without being frou-frou or pink. Just what I was looking for!

The Fine Line of Tackiness

When we had Caleb, I was honestly humbled by the baby showers that we were given. It seemed like everyone we knew wanted to help us celebrate our new baby boy. I registered for everything that I was told we would need and tried to make sure that most of the things we chose were relatively gender neutral so that we would be able to use them again if we had a second baby and it turned out to be a girl. I was always taught that you have baby showers for the first baby, but not for the second (or any others). That's not to say that all babies shouldn't be celebrated, but I've always done that on a slightly lesser scale - more along the lines of individual gifts from those that are close to you rather than an actual baby shower. It never even crossed my mind to register for gifts for Nola or that anyone would bring up having a shower for us. Now people have started to ask what kinds of things we want or need for Nola. It has taken me a little by surprise and has gotten me to thinking about what we really do need. Of course, we need basic essentials (diapers, wipes, etc) and baby girl clothes since everything we currently have is some shade of blue or green and most things have a car, truck, dinosaur or sports ball on it. There are a few other things that we need or want that have either come on the market in the past 3 years or that we have but need a second one for Nola.

After asking for opinions from my Facebook friends, I've decided to walk the fine line of tackiness and post a wishlist for Nola here on my blog. (Most everyone said it was just fine, by the way.) The list is over on the right sidebar. Here's my justification to myself: People have asked and those who aren't interested can ignore it. It's not like I just decided to make up a list and distribute it to everyone I know. Nobody is expected to get us anything at all. I'm just using this as a central place to keep a list and share it with those who ask for it.

Busy Weekend = Long Post (Halloween & Big Kid Room)

We started off the weekend with Caleb's Halloween party at school. Mom and Mr. L. came to witness the fun. This party was much tamer than his Christmas party last year. Basically, the kids just ate their snack in their costumes. Here are a couple of pictures... After the party, we came home. Caleb was in a horribly whiny, fussy, cranky mood. He cried about everything, yelled at all of us and basically was not himself at all. I put him in time out and had to give him a spanking within a matter of an hour. Mom & Mr. L. were going to take him out for pizza, but wisely decided against it. Instead, they went and picked up a pizza to eat at home while Rudy and I went out to Bonefish Grill for my birthday dinner. When we got home, we thought about carving pumpkins, but we were too tired. We decided to just go to bed instead. (We never did carve pumpkins this year. Oh, well.)

Saturday morning, I took Caleb to Alivia's birthday party. He was still not himself, but his behavior was improved enough to make it through the party. (Though he did get a spanking before we left because he yelled at Pops. Rudy wasn't having any of that!) Caleb loved getting another chance to wear his costume, but he wasn't so sure about all of those 5 year olds having so much party fun. He stuck pretty close to me and really just wanted to go play in Alivia's room. I did find the irony in watching him play in her pink room with her pink toys while wearing his football uniform (complete with shoulder pads and cleats). Here are a couple of pics from the party...

Livi the birthday girl and her sweet Mama, Stacy:

My favorite Razorback player and the cupcake he decorated:

Ah, the irony...
While Caleb and I were gone to the party, a major transformation was happening at our house. Mom, Mr. L and Rudy were taking all of the furniture out of our guest room and moving Caleb's bedroom furniture into what will soon become Nola's room! They moved the bed from the guest room into Caleb's room to become his BIG KID BED! They packed up the headboard, chest of drawers, night stand and chair from the guest room to take to a consignment store in Hot Springs. When Caleb and I got home from the party, I handed him off to Rudy to attempt to get a nap or at least some rest and Mom and I went to Target in search of big kid furniture and bedding. They had everything we needed, so we came home loaded down with 3 boxes of furniture to be assembled, a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, wall hangings, etc, etc, etc.

Here are the before pictures. The room is messy, but I didn't worry with cleaning it up just for "before" pictures. This is the furniture we got when Caleb was born. His dresser has a changing table and his bed is converted from his crib. The rocking chair on the left side was the rocking chair that my mom used when I was a baby.

These shelves hold lots of memorabilia and some books that I was keeping out of Caleb's reach until he learned not to tear the pages. The lamp that looks like a hot air balloon was in my nursery when I was a baby.

Here are the after pictures, but the room isn't quite finished. The chest and bookcase went together beautifully, but the nightstand box was missing one piece. Rudy is calling tomorrow to have that sent to us. The nightstand goes in the corner and will probably have a lamp on it. That far corner needs something tall and that makes the most sense. We also need something on the wall above Caleb's bed. I was going to put the square wall hangings of the sports balls there as a makeshift headboard, but Rudy and I were afraid Caleb would knock them off the wall onto his head. I'm now debating on a vinyl cutout of his name or something like that. Whatever it is will have to be pretty big, so I'm not sure yet.

Now the top shelf has baby memorabilia, but the other 2 shelves have Caleb's favorite stuffed "friends." I'm sure we'll whittle those away over time, but I'm not ready to see them go just yet. He still really likes them and they make me smile. The kite was on the ceiling above his toddler bed and he asked me to put it back in his big kid room. I tried to find a way to make it work. The tail goes all the way down the wall.

You can barely see it, but there is a set of hooks on the wall behind the door. It's hung low so that Caleb can reach the hooks for his hats and backpack. It's one of my favorite parts of the room.

And, of course, Saturday night was Halloween. We didn't get off to a very good start. Nobody on our street was home! The first house we actually went to was crazy, though! They were giving out five dollar bills! Rudy and I tried to figure out if we could change clothes and take Caleb back in a different costume, but decided that was just stingy. :) Pops pulled Caleb in his wagon and we all walked through the neighborhood to do the trick-or-treat circuit. Caleb loved it this year. At one house, instead of saying "trick-or-treat," he said "Touchdown Arkansas!" I laughed so hard I almost cried! When we had had our fill of trick-or-treating, we came home and Mom heated up a big pot of crawfish/shrimp etouffee for our supper. We watched the Razorback game on DVR delay and they manhandled Eastern Michigan. We were shocked that we only had 2 sets of trick-or-treaters. I bought a ton of candy and we now have a ton of candy to get rid of. We gave those kids that came by almost a whole bucketful and still have bunches left over.

This morning, Mom and Mr. L. left for home and the three of us went to church. After church, we came home to eat lunch and work some more on Caleb's room. Caleb loved helping his daddy build. Rudy went to meet some college friends for dinner this evening. Now, we're all home and Caleb is in his big kid bed for the first time all by himself. We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping that the time change will play in our favor and he'll be tired enough to get to sleep by himself. I should probably get to bed early tonight just in case we have one of those nights...