Terrible Threes

For the past 3 years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 3 days, I have thanked God for the gift that is Caleb. I have thanked Him for the opportunity to be a part of the life of such an amazing little boy. I have thanked Him for giving me the wisdom to either know what to do or figure out what to do in every situation that has come up. I have thanked Him for Caleb's humor, curiosity, gentleness, lovingness and general good nature. Every day has not been easy. This blog is full of stories - mostly good and some bad - of what our life has been like since Caleb arrived. (We sometimes like to say it was when Hurricane Caleb made landfall.) But there has never been a day that I wasn't thankful for him and I still am today, despite all of this:

I can honestly say that we are in the middle of one of our toughest phases of parenting to date. Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but I have decided that three is a much harder age than two...INFINITELY HARDER. Caleb's typically even nature has turned into a roller coaster that takes us from sweet/loving/joyous one moment to mean/whiny/cranky the next. We never know what we're going to get from one situation to the next and we never know how he's going to respond to anything. Something that delighted him yesterday may send him into a tantrum today. He may be outgoing at one turn and downright spiteful within minutes.

Rudy and I both are experiencing this change in behavior, but I seem to get the brunt of it. He has even gone so far as to go out of his way to purposefully step on my foot as he walked through a room. We're not sure if this has to do with the baby coming soon, a change in his routine at school (he's beginning a transition to a new classroom again), a growth spurt or just generally being three - or maybe a combination of all of the above. He has started to YELL at us when he doesn't want to do what we ask, ignore us blatantly and turn his back on us when we correct him. Fortunately, he isn't hitting us, but he's not far from it. He whines ridiculously when things don't go his way and whining is one of my greatest pet peeves in children. We have tried to continue using the 1-2-3 Magic discipline strategy that has worked for us in the past, but the timeouts just lead to more frustration. We have used our last resort of spanking a few times, but only when absolutely necessary to get his attention. There are times when I feel so deflated by it all that all I can do is cry. (I know...hormones.) Rudy and I both are frustrated and sometimes just look at each other like we're not sure who this little creature is who has taken over our child's body and brain. I think we've done a pretty good job of balancing each other - stepping in when we know the other person has had just about enough or being able to say to each other, "I need you to handle this because I'm at my wit's end."

Last Saturday, Caleb and Rudy were playing outside for a few minutes and Caleb fell. He hit his head on the concrete patio. His behavior was so bizarre all weekend that I actually questioned how hard he hit his head. This fear was only compounded by him waking during the night, crying uncontrollably and not being able to tell me what was wrong. Fortunately, some Tylenol and a snuggle cured whatever was causing the crying. I actually slept with him that night to make sure I could check on him periodically and be there if he woke up again, though. He woke up the next morning feeling fine and his behavior evened out somewhat for most of Sunday, so I'm no longer worried about his fall.

It comforts me to know that my friends agree with me. I posted a status about my frustration on Facebook and was immediately inundated with "amen" and "us too" and "I agree" comments. It doesn't make it any easier, though. The only thing that makes it easier is those moments in between tantrums when our normal Caleb is around, giving hugs and laughing and being silly. I revel in the times when he wants to snuggle or play instead of argue or whine. I know that what does not kill us will only make us stronger...and we're going to need the strength to get through age three again with Nola.