Going Home? Not So Fast...

I woke up bright and early on Thursday morning, ready to see my new baby girl and hoping to go home from the hospital. I texted Rudy and Mom and let them know that I was up and they were welcome to come up whenever they were ready, then I called the nurse and asked how long it would be before Nola was brought back to my room. She told me that the nursery staff was working with her and she'd be down as soon as they were finished. I watched a little TV and freshened up. Dr. Ford came by to check on me and told me that she had signed my discharge paperwork and I could go home when I was ready. My expectation was that we would go home as soon as Nola hit the 24 hour mark and passed her bilirubin and PKU tests. I was fully expecting to get out of there before the snowstorm hit and could not wait to do so.

It wasn't long before my nurse (who I happened to know from working with her child) came in to see me and the on-call pediatrician was with her. I could tell immediately that something was up and my heart jumped into my throat. Dr. Hill explained to me that overnight, the nurses noticed that Nola had some stridor to her cries. When she came in that morning, they brought it to her attention and she agreed that something wasn't "quite right." She took a look in Nola's throat and noticed that something was askew with her vocal folds and that it might be laryngomalacia. She told me that she had called Dr. Black, who was the ENT on call. He would be there soon and would take a closer look and let us know what he found. She told me not to worry and that they would let me know something as soon as they could. When they turned to leave the room, my nurse stopped to make sure I was okay, and I could only nod.

I immediately called Rudy and told him that I needed him to get there as soon as he could. That's when I cried.

Rudy got there pretty quickly. He was on his way to the hospital from dropping Caleb off at school when I called and he said that he instinctively hit the gas pedal a little harder when he hung up the phone. Mom wasn't far behind him and I hadn't even told her that anything was going on. She had stopped at Target to get some thank you gifts (mugs & hot chocolate) for my fabulous team of nurses from delivery and postpartum.

I filled both of them in on what little I knew and we all waited anxiously to hear from the doctors. After what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Hill and Dr. Black came to our room. Dr. Black told me that he had done a laryngoscopy on Nola (which I cannot even imagine with her tiny little passageways) and that she definitely does have laryngomalacia, but that it is mild. He explained exactly what the diagnosis is and what it means, which was a little easier for me to understand because I know the anatomy of the larynx due to being an SLP. (After he left, I put it in regular terms for the rest of the family.) The abnormality is small and only on the right vocal fold. There is a small flap that shouldn't be there, but it will likely go away on its own relatively quickly. He said that she would be put on a pulse-ox monitor to make sure she's getting enough oxygen and that she would need to stay overnight in the nursery. He didn't feel like we would need to even follow-up with him, but said that he would like to see us in 4-6 weeks if she's still having any signs of stridor.

When the doctors left, I processed the mixed emotions I was feeling - stress, fear, relief, confusion and a general feeling of being unsettled. Things weren't as planned. My expectations weren't being met. But, yet - it could have been so much worse. Fortunately, I know someone else who has recently had a baby with the same condition and she's doing great. She has had some reflux difficulties, but is otherwise healthy.

In my typical fashion, I kicked into planning mode. I was being discharged from the hospital, but Nola wasn't. I wasn't about to leave her there alone overnight, but I wasn't sure how that would work. We were given a courtesy room to stay in overnight so we had a place to sleep, but the details had to be determined. Rudy decided that he wanted to stay too, especially since the weather forecasters were promising us anywhere from 4 to 10 inches of snow, preceded by 1-2 inches of ice. He couldn't leave us there without a way to get home and with the possibility of power outages, etc. We finally decided that I would go home with Mom & Mr. L. to take a shower and repack my bag.

Eventually, the nurse from the nursery brought Nola into the room. I was so glad to see her, but hated to see that she was attached to a monitor. When I woke up that morning, I never thought I'd see that. That monitor was obnoxious too. It went off everytime we moved her. The nurses just told us to turn off the alarm when it sounded. Um...so what was the point of her having it?

Once we got moved to the courtesy room, I was ready to make a quick trip home. Rudy stayed at the hospital with Nola and they enjoyed some quiet time together. Mom and I went home and met Mr. L., who was working on putting together a gas heater that he had bought for us in case we lost power. (Thanks, Mr. L!) I took a shower, redressed, repacked and ate a quick bite, then we all went to get Caleb from daycare. Everyone at Caleb's daycare was shocked to see me walk through the door, but I felt fine and wanted Caleb to see me up and around to ease his mind. We took him to the hospital with us and he was so excited to see Nola.

When we got there, Rudy gathered his things and ran home to get a bag together and find some de-icer so we'd be able to get out the next morning if we got to go home.

Caleb asked me if he could hold Nola. I decided there was no time better than the present to let him, so we got him settled in the chair and put the boppy pillow around his waist. I put her in his lap and he did exactly what we had taught him to do. It was one of the best moments of my life. I grabbed the camera and took some pictures and they turned out better than I could've asked for:

My friend and co-worker, Margaret, came by to see us since she was at the hospital to visit a family member. Unfortunately, while she was there, things got a little chaotic. Caleb started throwing a fit and then the nurse came in to take Nola to the nursery.

Mom, Mr. L, Caleb and I waited in the room for Rudy to get back and for the nursery to bring Nola back. Once Nola was back, Caleb climbed up on the bed where I was holding her. She was getting fussy and it worried him. He leaned in to her and started singing so sweetly, "Lullaby and goodnight, go to sleep, little Nola..." It was absolutely precious. He kissed her and stroked her head and was just so incredibly sweet. When he talks to her, he uses this soft little voice and you can just see the love in his eyes. I'm going to cherish that now, because I know the time will come when he wants her to just go away.

Mom, Mr. L and Caleb went home for dinner and playtime. Rudy came back bearing dinner, a change of clothes and de-icer. We were set for the night. It wasn't long before we started hearing the sleet hit the window. We took turns holding Nola while we watched TV and watched the cars make their attempts to get up the onramp that was getting slicker and slicker. By the time the Hogs basketball game started at 8:00, everything outside was coated in white. Nola slept through her first Razorback game in her daddy's arms.

When the nursery nurse came to get Nola for the night, Rudy and I got ready for bed. Rudy had the pleasure of sleeping on a fold-out chair and I got the hospital bed. It was a long night and neither of us slept much. I tried to sleep, but had so much running through my head that I couldn't fall asleep until 4:00! Rudy took an ambien, so he slept, but the discomfort of the bed meant that he didn't sleep well. It was a long night.