Caleb and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day

Yesterday after school Caleb said his 2nd day of school was great and that he “ended up” on green, but he almost got a yellow card for not cleaning up when he was supposed to.  We had a little chat last night about the fact that if he gets in trouble at school, he is automatically in trouble at home.  He now knows our expectations - yellow isn't okay, but it isn't the end of the world - red and orange are unacceptable.  We use a color system at home as well and if he gets yellow at school, he gets yellow at home.  Same goes for red.  We have consequences attached to the colors and he knows what they are.  He assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem. He even went so far as to say that he “definitely” doesn’t want to ever be on red or orange! 

In his classroom, green is for good choices, yellow is for a warning, red is for bad choices and orange is when you have to go to the principal’s office.

I posted about it on Facebook last night and his teacher replied that he was “far away from yellow.”  She said that some kids at his table had thrown trash on the floor and she told them that it was against the rules.   I told her that I didn’t really think she would have trouble with Caleb because he’s such a pleaser. 

He proved me wrong.

I ate lunch with him today because my schedule allowed it.  I’ll only do that occasionally, but it was nice to have the option.  We were sitting at the table eating and I noticed that he was really quiet.  He finally looked up at me with big tears in his eyes and said, “I got yellow today.”  I tried to keep my cool and asked him why.  He explained (with a little coaxing) that he had gotten in trouble for throwing rocks on the playground.  We talked about why that was a bad choice and he admitted that he knew it was wrong, but said that someone else was doing it too.  Of course, that launched the explanation of why we don’t do something just because someone else does. 

After lunch, I e-mailed his teacher and told her that he had fessed up.  She said that he and his friend were “showering” the other kids with rocks (pea gravel) to keep them from going into a certain area of the playground.  My jaw must’ve fallen to the ground when I read that.  She told me not to worry because it’s all new and he’s trying to figure it out.  Yeah…but he knows better than to throw rocks.  It’s not like it was okay to throw them at daycare and all of a sudden it’s okay at kindergarten.  I assured her that I would follow up on it at home and he would have consequences. I also told her that I forgot to mention that he’s not only a pleaser, but he’s also a follower (much to my dismay).

So, Caleb was moved to yellow at home and grounded from all electronics (TV, Wii, etc).  Rudy told him that he was going to take him swimming, but he just couldn’t since he had made a bad choice at school.  He has now apologized about 25 times and has promised repeatedly that he won’t ever throw rocks again and he’ll try very hard to stay on green. 

To top it all off, he smacked his head on the metal tray of the whiteboard in the classroom this afternoon and had to go get an ice pack from the nurse.  He has a bruise on his forehead.

Yesterday afternoon after school, we were in my room and I had to leave for just a minute.  I told him to stay in the room and I’d be right back.  When I got back, he wasn’t there.  Turned out he went to the bathroom, but didn't know where the one nearest my room was, so he went to the one outside of the cafeteria. I spent almost 5 minutes in a near panic searching for him. I could just imagine him going out to the playground without an adult because it's so tempting to him. We've now had a talk about how it's not okay to leave my room without telling me.  Next week, he’ll start going to after school care on Mondays and Wednesdays.  I have meetings after school every Monday and I’ll be working in my room on Wednesdays until it’s time to go to Bible study at church.

Learning the rules of “big school” has been tough on the little man the last few days.  He’ll get there and he’ll be just fine, but he’s really struggling.  He LOVES school and I even overheard him playing school in my room this afternoon, but the rules of the game have changed.  The expectations have increased.  At the end of every day he is exhausted and hungry.  I wonder if it would be easier for him if he wasn’t in my building, but I don’t think it would be.  I just think I might not realize how tough the transition has been for him.

And another thing…

I made it to day 3 of kindergarten before I got choked up.  No tears, just a lump in my throat.  We were pulling into the parking lot this morning and Caleb said, “I think I can go to my room by myself.”  When we got in the door, he looked at me and said, “You stay here.  I can go to class by myself.”  Whew.  I didn’t fight it, just let him go.  I did check to make sure he got there, though.