What's In A Name?

When we decided to name our first child "Caleb Michael" nobody batted an eye. Everyone immediately said, "Oh, that's a great name" or "I love the name Caleb." In 2006, Caleb was the 34th most popular name. Michael came in at number 2 on the list. Caleb was named very loosely after the Razorback football player Caleb Miller - mainly because we liked his name, but also because he had a good character image on and off the field. Michael was my father's middle name and he went by Mike. For those of you who don't know, my father died when I was four. It was important to me to take the chance to name my son after him.

Rudy and I put a lot of thought into what we'll name our new baby. Before we knew if we were having a boy or a girl, we decided on names. If it were to be a girl, she would be Nola Mae. If it were a boy, he would be Harrison Daniel. One of the first questions people always ask when they find out you're expecting a baby is, "Do you have names picked out?" I would always answer, "Oh, yes. If it's a girl, her name will be Nola." I got an occasional response of, "Oh, that's so pretty" or "That is perfect for you - so Southern." More often, the response followed a pause and went something like, "...and if it's a boy?" When I responded with, "Harrison," I inevitably got a "Oh, that's a great name" or "Oooh, I like that one."

Harrison Daniel was our boy name. Harrison is the town that Rudy's family is from. It's where his parents met. He spent a lot of time in his younger years there. People frequently ask us, "Are you related to the Harrison Villines?" So - Harrison Villines had a ring to it. Daniel is the name of one of my best friends' sons. Daniel Shelton is one of the most well-mannered, funny, well-rounded kids I've ever known. I will be humbled if Caleb grows up to be anything like Daniel is now. Plus - his mom is an amazing friend who God has completely blessed my life with. I wanted to name our baby boy after her son.

When I told my mom the results of our ultrasound last week, I didn't say, "It's a girl." I said, "Her name is Nola." And it is. Her name is Nola Mae Villines and as I write this, she is doing somersaults or practicing her best dance moves. (She has been very active all day today!) Where in the world did we come up with her name?

Rudy and I have a very special connection to New Orleans. Nola is a common nickname for that wonderful city. New Orleans, LA. Rudy and I have vacationed there several times. We love the culture, the food, the music and the southern hospitality of the Crescent City. Yes, I realize it's different. You may have never heard of it. It was 918th on the popularity list for 2008. That doesn't matter to me. Her name is Nola.

Mae was the middle name of my maternal great-grandmother, who was my babysitter for the first couple of years of my life. Mama Mae was my hero until she died unexpectedly when I was three. Mae is also the middle name of my paternal grandmother, who continues to be a blessing in my life to this day. My Memmie is a spiritual guidepost for me and her faith in the face of tragedy and struggle amazes me every time it crosses my mind. (By the way, Mae is not in the top 1000 names for any of the past 9 years.)

So, now you know. We didn't choose Nola Mae to be different. We certainly didn't choose it to be cruel to our daughter. It's not a joke and it's not a "statement." It means something to us. We think it's beautiful. Just like she will be.

I Do It...All By Myself

Remember when Caleb was all out of sorts? Well, not so much anymore! He has been in a GREAT mood the past couple of days/nights despite having a cold that has lead to some mild bronchitis, complete with a trip to the pediatrician and a round of antibiotics. In addition to that great mood, he has decided that "I can do it all by myself" is his new motto.

On Sunday, he was playing in his playroom and I saw him walk by like he was going to his room. The next thing I knew, I heard the toilet flush and the water running in the sink. He decided he would just go to the bathroom and wash his hands without any help. I was shocked! I knew he could do it, he just never had before without any prompting.

Caleb loves to play outside in the backyard by himself. (The backyard is fully fenced and he can't reach the latch on the gate.) He loves for us to be out with him, but can also play independently and I'm so glad! Tonight after dinner he asked to go outside. Rudy was getting ready for his softball game and I was doing laundry, so we told him he could go out by himself. After I put a load of laundry in, I went to look out the window to check on him and found him standing on the edge of the patio, pulling his pants down. I watched in amused amazement as he proceeded to "water the grass," pull his pants back up and go back to playing like nothing had ever happened. He then went over to his t-ball set, said something that I couldn't hear and popped a ball all the way across the yard. After that, he went to the outside toy bin, got the sidewalk chalk and drew on the patio for a long time. I stood there watching him through the window in absolute amazement. He usually plays on his swingset and plays ball when he's by himself. I've never seen him initiate the use of the sidewalk chalk!

After a while, I opened the door and told him that he could either come in to watch a little TV before bed (his usual routine of either Backyardigans or Little Einsteins) or he could play for 15 more minutes and then come in. He said, "I'll clean up, then I'll come in and watch TV." My jaw almost hit the ground as he started cleaning up his toys ALL BY HIMSELF. While he was cleaning up, I heard him say, "Dark, you coming?" I asked him who he was talking to and he said, "The dark. It doesn't answer, but I asked anyway." I choked back laughter as I nodded in agreement.

My amazement continued when he came in and I told him he needed to wash his hands since he had been outside. He said, "Okay, I do it all by myself. You stay there" and he went to the bathroom to wash his hands...with soap.

When Little Einsteins was finished, he turned off the TV and he asked if he could brush his teeth ALL BY MYSELF. I told him he could start and I would finish. No argument. We brushed teeth and went to his room to put on his PJ's. He wanted to take off his clothes all by himself. I agreed and was impressed until he put his arm through the neckhole of his shirt while trying to take it off. Oh, well - he's learning! Then came time to put on PJ's and of course he wanted to do it all by himself. He put his shirt on his head, but couldn't quite get it through the neckhole. He finally gave up and said, "Oh, you do it!" - but he didn't get mad or frustrated! Then he wanted to put on his pants. He is currently in his bed with his pants on backwards, because I didn't have the heart to tell him and really - what difference does it make? He has been in my room 3 times now. Once he told me that he was sweaty. I asked if he wanted me to turn on his fan and he said, "I do it...all by myself." He then turned around and went back to his room. I realized I had forgotten to give him his medicine, so I went to do that and sure enough - the fan was on and he was in his bed.

I love this newfound independence. It makes me laugh and feel proud all at the same time. Uh-oh, gotta go...Mr. Independent just came in to tell me that he heard a monster and that he likes "my stuff" in my bedroom because it's so pretty. Is it too late to put him back in the crib that he couldn't get out of?

VERY Funny Video

A couple of my Facebook friends posted this today. Caleb and I watched it tonight and laughed so hard we had to watch it again:

Possibly the Best Calebism Ever

While hiking at Hobbs State Park..."Oooh, look, daddy! A daddy long legs! Daddy, you a spider 'cause you a daddy with long legs."

20 Weeks ~ GO HOGS!

Here's my 20 week belly shot. Halfway through with this (my last) pregnancy!

Here are the 2 maternity shirts that I had made with Razorback designs on them. I ordered them from a local lady who has an in-home company called "Bling It." I love the way they turned out and will completely wear them out between now and February!

Today is FINALLY gameday in Northwest Arkansas!

It's looking like rain tonight, but the Hogs will play the Georgia Bulldogs at Razorback Stadium regardless of the weather. We were fortunate to be invited to sit with the Wisemans and their friends in their box, so I won't have to wear a poncho over my cute shirt...or whatever I decide to wear. I might actually wear a red cotton dress tonight since we're in "the box," it's a nationally televised game (not that we'll be on camera), it's the first game of the season and it's likely to be the last game with pretty warm temperatures. I'm currently washing my red shirt just in case I change my mind. I love it when we get to sit in the box. There's air conditioning (or heat) but the people who let us sit in their box are so awesome that they leave the windows open to let in the "real" sounds of a football game, food and drink, a private bathroom and plenty of room to sit without that strange man who sits beside us in the stands digging through his fanny pack through the whole game for whatever it is that he's constantly looking for. Plus - that kid who sits right in the middle of our row isn't going back and forth in front of us a million times, spilling coke on my feet and bumping me with his popcorn-loving self. What I do miss about sitting down there is getting to catch up with the great people behind us and to the right of us who have been sitting with us for several years now. Those guys that sit in front of us have finally gotten the hint that everyone in our section doesn't want to stand through the whole game. I'm all about standing while the Hogs are playing and when it's getting exciting, but it's really not necessary through the whole game unless you're in the student section, which I'm not anymore. I did my standing time between the ages of 18 and 24 - including the 2 years that Rudy was a GA with the band.

It's Gameday, friends! Time to put on your red, adhere that little Hog tattoo to your cheek, watch a little Herbstreit & Corso (despite the fact that it's being broadcast from Texas), eat some cheese dip and CALL THOSE HOGS!

The Big Ultrasound!

Going into my ultrasound today, I was nervous. I don't remember being nervous when I went in for Caleb's ultrasound. Maybe I just don't remember it, but I was really nervous today. I will be completely honest and say that I hoped we would be told, "It's a boy!" My reasons for that are a little silly, but here they are:

• I know how to be a mom to a little boy. I have 3 1/2 years of experience at it.
• Little girls seem to just naturally love pink. I hate lots of pink. I hate ruffles, bows and frilly stuff. (I can take pink in small doses and when calmed down by other colors such as brown, black, green and blue.)
• I love the nature of little boys. In general, they take things in stride much better than little girls.
• I have an attic full of blue baby clothes and toddler clothes. They are primarily adorned with footballs, trucks and dinosaurs.
• I have a playroom full of trucks, balls and dinosaurs.
• I am terrified of tween and teen girls. They scare me, honestly. I didn't really like myself at that age and I'm not sure I've ever met a girl of that age who liked or understood herself at all. Do I have what it takes to make it through those stages as a mother and to guide a girl through those most difficult years?

BUT...through all of that, I have these thoughts:

• I treasure the relationship that I have with my mother. I would be honored to have that relationship with my daughter.
• The experiences that I've had with my mother as an adult are irreplaceable. I want to someday be the mother of the bride, the mother of the new mom and the mother of the daughter who shows the world what women are made of.
• God knows what He's doing. If He trusts me to raise a daughter that He has plans for, then by all means - I accept that with a willing heart and a sense of adventure!

So, I picked Caleb up at school and we met Rudy at my OB's office. We were called back into the ultrasound room and the nervous butterflies in my stomach were almost overwhelming. I gave the camera to Rudy so that he could take some pictures of the momentous event.

Here are Caleb and I waiting for the ultrasound to start:

Now, let me just say that this is the ONLY time you will ever see the bare skin of my stomach. I am not thrilled with the idea of even showing it to you at this time, but there's no way to show you an ultrasound without you getting a glimpse of my never-seen-the-sun skin.

Caleb did great at first in the room. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, so I tried to explain to him that the very nice lady (Tina) was using a special camera to take pictures inside of my tummy so that we could see HotShot and find out if we were going to have a brother or a sister. He was attentive for about 5 minutes and then started singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" over and over. Tina assured us that it wasn't the first time she had done an ultrasound while someone was singing.

Here's the monitor that Caleb, Rudy and Tina were watching and the screen that I was watching:

Here is Caleb watching "the special camera" on my tummy. He was really intrigued by the jelly that was all over me!During the ultrasound, Rudy kept saying he thought he "saw something" and knew what the baby was going to be. I just said, "oh, really" and finally Tina said that she wasn't sure what he was seeing because she was doing organ and bone measurements. I giggled a little, because I had seen that she was typing in things like "heart" and "kidneys" on the screen when Rudy wasn't looking. He didn't make any other guesses after that. Ultrasounds are hard to see when you aren't completely sure what you're looking at!

After she got all of the necessary measurements done and we were assured that everything looked normal, she went looking for the information that we wanted, but were anxious to hear. She searched and searched and finally said, "I don't see any boy parts, but let me make sure I can see girl parts." Then, voila - there they were! She typed in "It's a Girl" on the screen and I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. I asked her just how sure she was and she said 100% sure. She told us that she has never been wrong that she knows of and then told us about one of the doctors in the office telling that fact on national TV on the show 18 Kids and Counting. She seemed pretty sure of herself and after looking at the pictures, I'm convinced.

We are having a baby girl.

Her name is Nola Mae.

She currently weighs 12 ounces, which measures perfectly at 19 weeks, 6 days.

Her heart is beating 143 beats per minute.

She is active and moving a lot, but I only feel her movements on my left side because the placenta is mostly positioned on my right side, cushioning me from feeling her movements on the right.

Here are the pictures from our ultrasound with some description for those of you who aren't familiar with ultrasound pictures:

This is her profile. She is looking toward the right. You can see the roundness of the top of her head on the left and it looks like her mouth is partially open.

This is her face. Beautiful, isn't she? :) In this picture, she is looking at the camera. You can actually see her left eyelid and the outline of her nose and jaw.

Here is her arm, bent at the elbow. You can kind of make out her fingers too.

Here's a foot. How many big steps will this foot make in her life?

No modesty here. This is the "It's a Girl" picture. These are the tops of her legs and her "girl parts." If you can't make out what's what - you're just going to have to trust me. "It's a Boy" pictures are a little more obvious, but she's a girl. I promise.

The first question everyone asks is, "How does Caleb feel about having a little sister?" Well, this is his face when Rudy told him that HotShot is indeed a girl. He was so excited! He has now started asking about Nola and even told her goodnight before he went to bed tonight. He is happy about being a big brother. We'll see how that holds up in February. :)

Rudy and I are thrilled to be given the opportunity to raise a son and a daughter. We can't wait to meet this sweet little girl and get to know her.

Now...does anyone have the name of a good consignment store? I have A LOT of BLUE stuff to sell.

We're Not Sick!!!

As I write this post, not a single person in this Villines household is sick. Hallelujah, praise be! We have gone a whole week without anyone missing a day of school and we have gone a whole week without so much as calling a doctor's office. It might be a miracle, but I'm knocking on wood just in case.

After surviving my bout of stomach flu last weekend, we all enjoyed the day off on Monday. After Rudy picked Caleb up from my parents, he stopped in Ft. Smith to have lunch and let Caleb play with his mom. When they got home, Caleb wanted to go to the pool. I was determined that I was going to do something with them, so I went along, but didn't brave putting on a swimsuit. When we got there, Rudy cut his heel pretty bad on the gate, so Caleb spent his pool time splashing around by himself.

After about an hour or so, we decided it was dinner time. We came home and changed Caleb into dry clothes, then went to Chili's. I was thinking I wasn't sure if I'd be able to eat a "real meal" but that's what both boys wanted, so I went with it. Once I took that first bite, I inhaled the rest. We had a scratch-off coupon from a previous visit and won a free dessert. I even tackled the dessert plate. I left there feeling so full for the first time in days and it was heavenly.

On Tuesday afternoon, I took Caleb to Gymboree after school and then to Firehouse Subs for dinner. He loves that he gets a plastic firehat when we eat there. I love that he actually eats his food there. It's a win-win. After that, I took Caleb with me to see one of my students who has been begging me to come to one of his football games. We watched Tyler's football scrimmage and I talked to his grandmother while Caleb pretended to play football right beside me. He would crouch down when the big boys did and then run and fall when they snapped the ball. He cried when it was time to go because he wanted to play with them so badly. I decided that I would take advantage of that and try to go get him a Halloween costume. It's pretty obvious that the boy is really into football this year and being a football player was the way to go. We went to the Halloween costume store, but they didn't have what we needed. I came home and got online to shop for a preschool football uniform. Lo and behold, I found just the right one! Caleb is now the proud owner of a Razorback football uniform, complete with a helmet and shoulder pads. I placed the order on Tuesday night and it arrived on Thursday afternoon. I love the Internet and UPS.

On Wednesday, Rudy was supposed to have a softball game, but it got cancelled, so we spent the evening at home. We watched the President address Congress about health care reform and I was so appalled by the behavior of the legislators. Between the cheering and booing and name-calling, I just couldn't believe that our "dignitaries" were behaving like that. It made me sad for our country.

On Thursday, I picked Caleb up from school and Rudy taught some trumpet lessons after school. Shortly after we got home, the doorbell rang and it was the UPS man delivering Caleb's uniform. When I opened the box and took the helmet out, Caleb actually giggled. He couldn't wait to put it all on. I let him put it on and wait for Rudy. He was so excited. Once Rudy finally got home, we ate dinner and had to convince Caleb to take the helmet off so he could eat. After dinner, they went out in the front yard to "be football mans." It was hilarious! Caleb insisted that Rudy wear a helmet too. The only option was for Rudy to wear his bike helmet, which looked absolutely ridiculous, but he did it anyway in the name of being a good Daddy. While we were out there, our neighbors drove by and asked what size shoe Caleb wears, then brought over a pair of cleats for him. You would've thought they had given him pure gold. We had to pry Caleb out of that uniform to get him to go to bed. After school on Friday, I brought Caleb home and Rudy took him to Fayetteville for the high school football game. He loved it of course. While they were gone, I had a girls' night out with my friend Stacy. We went to eat at PF Chang's and then walked around the Promenade for a while. We also went to see The Proposal, which was really funny. It was a good night out - especially considering how sick I was the previous Friday night!

Saturday morning, Rudy woke me up and told me that he and Caleb were going hiking. Huh??? For some reason, Rudy wanted to do something outdoorsy on Saturday and decided that hiking was the thing to do. He took Caleb to Hobbs State Park and they made a 1.5 mile hike, stopping along the way look at moss, pick up daddy-long-legs, touch a toad and check out a lizard. They both loved it! Caleb told me all about the spiders and the toad. He assured me that toads do NOT say "ribbit" and that those spiders were very nice to him. Rudy took some great pictures, but I haven't gotten them uploaded yet.

Saturday afternoon, we hung out at the house and then went to Fayetteville for the band staff dinner. It was fun to visit with everyone. One of the other directors and his wife have a 7 month old daughter and Caleb was fascinated with her. He wanted to hold her, so I held her in his lap. He giggled and sang to her and oohed and aahed over how tiny she is. He even shared his racecars with her. He then told me that he wanted his baby to be a girl. I told him that we will find out soon!

This morning, we went to church and then to lunch at Dixie Cafe. After church we came home hoping that Caleb would take a nap. It was dreary and cool and misty outside and I just wanted to get under a blanket and sleep. Rudy wanted to go play golf, so he took off for a few hours. My nap wishes were cancelled out by Caleb, who refused to nap. I heard banging around in his room at one point and when I went in to check on the situation, he was standing in the middle of a pile of toys, wearing his football helmet and cleats. I was frustrated beyond belief, but finally gave up and let him watch TV in the living room with me. After a while, he realized that it wasn't raining anymore and wanted to go outside. I took a blanket and a book and watched him play in the backyard while we waited for Rudy to come home. Once Rudy got home, I turned over kid watching duty to him, got dinner going in the oven and worked on my lesson plans for the week. They had a blast in the backyard, playing every sport under the sun and then some. Caleb came in and asked me what was cooking and I told him "chicken pot pie." He grinned really big and said, "Yay! Pie!" He was disappointed when he tasted it. It wasn't exactly what he expected from pie.

Now, Caleb has FINALLY gone to sleep, I'm about to watch the season finale of Design Star and Rudy is camped out in the recliner watching football. This is a very busy week for us, so we're trying to get a restful start. I have a faculty meeting until almost 5:00 tomorrow. Tuesday is Gymboree/band practice night. On Wednesday, I'm hosting a grandmother shower at our house and Rudy has softball. On Thursday, we have our big 20 week ultrasound, where we'll get to find out if HotShot is a Nola or a Harrison...hoping he/she cooperates with that! After the ultrasound, I have to go back to work for open house. The Fellers family is coming to stay with us on Friday night. Rudy, Chad and Owen are playing golf on Saturday. I'm not sure what Ronni, Caleb and I are doing. Saturday afternoon, Jan is coming to take care of Caleb. Saturday night is the UA vs UGA game on ESPN and we'll be in the stands doing our best to cheer on our Hogs. I hope and pray that Sunday is a relaxing day!

Funny Stuff

I decided this afternoon that I needed a good laugh. Armed with my laptop and a few hours of quiet in my house, combined with very little energy or reason to leave the house, I came up with this list of websites that never fail to make me chuckle, snort or sometimes laugh out loud.

To the faint of heart or easily offended: These are not censored and are not guaranteed to be g-rated. I personally prefer to censor my own thoughts and just skip over anything that hints at being offensive.

People of Wal-Mart: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Cake Wrecks: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Stuff White People Like: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

Awkward Family Photos: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Redneck Pictures: http://www.lilligren.com/Redneck/new_redneck_photos.htm

School Survival (for kids who hate school): http://www.school-survival.net/comic_relief/pics/

FAIL: http://failblog.org/tag/g-rated/

Bad European Design: http://www.omodern.com/Eurobad/euro.html

1970's JCPenney Catalog: http://funny-farm.tressugar.com/771943

Funny Farm from Tres Sugar: http://funny-farm.tressugar.com/latest

There I Fixed It: http://thereifixedit.com/

You Suck at Craigslist: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/

Bad Interior Design: http://www.lileks.com/institute/interiors/index.html

Glamour Don'ts: http://glamcam.glamour.com/galleries/Worst%20Don'ts

What am I missing? Any sites out there that make you laugh?

Starting off With a Bang

Two and half weeks of school behind us and we've all already had the stomach flu. Does this happen to everyone else or is it just us? Honestly, we do everything they tell you to do - frequent hand-washing, don't eat or drink after other people, wipe down surfaces often, etc, etc, etc. But all three of us spend the majority of our waking hours in a school or daycare. It's bound to happen, right?

It started last weekend. We didn't have anything planned. It was supposed to be a relaxing weekend at home before we started the craziness of football season, which leads right into the holidays. Last Friday night, we went to Frisco Festival with Grandma Voise and Kathy and had a great time. As of my last post, Rudy was starting to feel bad and Caleb and I were supposedly doing better. Not-so-much. Rudy ended up with the full-blown stomach flu and so did Caleb. By midnight Sunday, Rudy was throwing up in the bathroom and I was holding a bowl in front of Caleb. Ugh. We all stayed home on Monday (sick day #1) so that I could take care of Caleb while Rudy recuperated.

By Tuesday morning, we were back at work/school and doing fine. Caleb even went to Gymboree and then we had dinner together at Firehouse Subs. Rudy worked band practice and came home worn out! Wednesday and Thursday were quiet nights at our house - nothing on the schedule for a change except for packing to go to Hot Springs for the weekend. We were so excited to go to my parents' house for Labor Day weekend. Rudy and I were even geared up for the first Razorback game in Little Rock.

I got to work Friday morning and hit the ground running. I was doing great - rocking through my schedule and seeing my kids like normal. About 10:30, I started feeling a little woozy. By 10:45, I was struggling to stay in the game. My lunch time is at 11:15 and I wanted nothing to do with lunch. I went into the nurse's office to get my temp checked, but didn't have a fever. I decided to chill out during my lunch time and try to make it through the rest of the day. I was honestly hoping it was something pregnancy-related and it would pass soon. By 12:00, I knew that wasn't the case. I stuck my head in the principal's office and told her I was going home (sick day #1 & 1/2). I got home just in time. Between 1:00 PM and 1:00 AM, I went back and forth from the bathroom to the bed, fighting fever and throwing up. I called my OB's office and they said that I needed to call back if my fever topped 101.4, which it never did. I was also given a prescription for phenergan, which helped me sleep through some of the fever pain. The nurse called back at one point and suggested that I go to a clinic for a flu test and possible flumist. By that time, Rudy was already gone to meet my parents in Mansfield to hand Caleb off to them for the weekend. He knew that I would need his help and we really didn't want Caleb to be exposed to the flu again. Plus - Mom and Mr. L. were already planning on having us there for the weekend, so it worked out well. Saturday morning, Rudy took me to the convenient care clinic, where we waited for an hour to be seen. The nurse practitioner told me that he couldn't do a flu test because I didn't have any nasal congestion. They were most concerned because my blood pressure was so low. Urinalysis showed that I was slightly dehydrated, but not enough to worry about. I was sent home with instructions to drink a lot of pedialyte, monitor my fever and continue the phenergan as needed. Rudy brought me home and then went back to the grocery store for a stock-up on bland foods and pedialyte - and a replacement toothbrush for me. I spent all of yesterday napping and watching football, which wasn't too different from what Rudy spent his day doing.

I finally lumbered out of bed and into the living room to watch the Razorback game at 6:00 last night. I was determined to watch it on the big TV in the living room, instead on the little one in the bedroom! Nothing better than starting the season with a kickoff return for touchdown, right? We beat Missouri State 48-10 and now we have a week off before Georgia comes to town on the 19th. I fell asleep during the 4th quarter, but woke up in time to see BYU beat Oklahoma before I fell back into the bed. I tried to watch some of the Alabama game and some of the LSU game, but couldn't keep my eyes open.

I woke up at 10:30 this morning without fever - HALLELUJAH! I've managed a shower today and have eaten a bowl of noodles. I'm feeling a little hungry now, so I think I'll try to eat something else soon. Now I'm sitting on the couch watching some more football, while Rudy has gone to play golf and enjoy this beautiful day. He is going to pick Caleb up tomorrow and they are having lunch with Jan. I'm looking forward to having Caleb home, but I don't have the energy just yet to keep up with him. I'm hoping by the time he gets home tomorrow, I'll be ready to roll.

As for HotShot - I'm a little worried, because I haven't felt any movement today. I'm hoping that he/she is just as drained and worn out from this bout with the flu as I am and having a day of rest. If I don't feel some movement by Tuesday morning, I'll call my doctor's office. I'm not trying to borrow trouble unnecessarily, but I can't help but worry a little. According to my bathroom scale, I've lost about 9 pounds since Friday morning. I'm 2 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight, so this is kind of like starting over in that realm. I'm not worried at all about that. I know it's all fluid and it'll come back.

As for Caleb - he has been for a couple of boat rides, wore his new Razorback jersey yesterday and has had a generally great time at Pops and LaLa's house. I'm sure he's not looking as forward to coming home as we are looking forward to having him home.

The Day Mama Bear's Cage Got Rattled

Thursday, 9/3/09, will go down in my book as the day I officially became a Mama Bear for the first time. My cage got rattled, my temper got challenged and my composure got tested. Let me preface by saying that the past several days with Caleb have been challenging to say the least. We've had lots of strikes against us: he's been sick, Rudy's been sick, I'm still not back to a normal level of energy, it's a full moon (yes, I believe in this 100%) and the weather is changing. It has been a very difficult week and a half to two weeks for us. Caleb has been very emotional and has had a hard time keeping it together. He's crying easily, having lots of tantrums, being defiant and generally showing us lots of behaviors that we just normally don't see. Rudy and I have been struggling with it and getting frustrated, but trying to weather the storm like we always do - with compassion, but without giving too much on our expectations.

When I picked Caleb up from daycare on Thursday afternoon, he was on the playground. As I got to the gate, one of the adults told me very kindly that Elizabeth (Caleb's teacher) asked her to let me know that Caleb had been very emotional all day. Elizabeth has been excellent to give us reports on how Caleb’s days with her have been and we are very grateful for that. I thanked her for letting me know and told her that we had been dealing with the same thing at home for several days. I also told her that he was very sick this past weekend and has been emotionally volatile since then, both at home and at daycare. After I said that, one of the other adults (not his classroom teacher) suggested that I might need to talk to his pediatrician because he might have “generalized anxiety disorder.” I was taken aback by the suggestion and told her that I didn’t think it was anything that serious. He, like most three-year-olds, just goes through phases of being whiny and throwing tantrums.

By the time I got Caleb buckled into the car, I was past being taken aback and was absolutely astonished. After a while, I was getting angrier and angrier about it. I decided that I needed to write a letter to the director of the daycare. In the letter, I explained the situation just as I did above, but used the names of the adults involved. I went on to say this:

"My concern is solely with the idea that XXXX would so nonchalantly suggest a psychological diagnosis without the appropriate training to do so. Fortunately, I am familiar with this diagnosis and know that Caleb does not fit the profile of a child with GAD. Therefore, I knew not to be worried, but was still angered by the fact that she suggested it. This is not the first inappropriate situation that we have been involved in with her. XXXX regularly tells Caleb that she loves him and asks him to give her kisses when we pick him up in the afternoons. I feel that while that is very kind of her, it is inappropriate behavior for a daycare worker. Hugs are appropriate, kisses are not. We don’t ask Caleb to give kisses to anyone, particularly people who aren’t family."

Mama Bear's cage was rattled. My mom told me not to write the letter, because it would draw unnecessary attention to me and to Caleb, but I felt so strongly about it that I had to do it. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't usually go against Mom's advice, but this was a situation that I had to address.

I shared my frustration with friends on Facebook and was comforted by the astonishment and shock that they shared with me. I got some comforting words from people who know me and people who know Caleb. I got some 'attagirls from people who were just shocked about that fact that it happened.

At this point, we are keeping him in the daycare where he is and still planning to take HotShot there next fall. I have to talk to a couple of people before I make that decision for sure, but that's where we stand now. The range of emotions that I went through in a short period of time was wild. I went from feeling defeated, to astonished, to angry, to hell-bent, to doubtful, to helpless, to angry all over again. I now feel confident in my decision and confident in my ability to weather the storm of raising a 3-year-old.