New Calebisms

3 going on 13
One day earlier this week, Caleb was right under my feet as I was trying to get something done. In addition to that, he was being particularly contrary and I wasn't in the best of moods to begin with. He repeated the same *demand* about 5 times in a row and I finally snapped at him. His response: "Okay, Mom. Relax." This came complete with the exasperated voice of a 13-year-old and, if I'm not mistaken, an eye-roll. I have seen the future and it is not pretty.

Albert Pujols
Caleb and I were watching the Cardinals baseball game on TV on Sunday and he was asking his usual million questions. The biggest question that he asks is, "What his name?" In this case, my answer was, "Albert Pujols." I told him that Pujols is a great player and we always cheer for him: "Go, Albert Pujols!" He responded, "Go, Alice Poophole!" After I choked back some giggles so I wouldn't encourage him to repeat it, I corrected him. He then said it correctly, but asked me "Why he have a hole in him?" I never cease to be amazed.

Dace at the Cardinals Game
I have no idea who Dace is, but Caleb insists that Dace is a baseball man at the Cardinals game. He sits way up high and I should be able to see him on TV. He even goes so far as to tell me, "There he is!" but I have no clue what he's talking about.

Potty Mouth
Caleb has recently decided that he likes having a potty mouth. I know that most kids go through this and he really has no idea what he's saying, but my blonde-haired, blue-eyed, sweet-cheeked 3-year-old has started saying "dammit" when things don't go his way. We're not 100% sure where this came from, though we do have some idea. (I'll never rat out the culprit!) When he says it, we don't make a big deal out of it, we just correct him with a more appropriate response: doggonit! Sometimes he says, "dadgummit," but he usually mixes up the /g/ with the first /d/ and that doesn't work out so well either. We're really pushing "doggonit" or "oh, man!" Any suggestions?

2 Minutes
We use a timer often in our house. We use it for time outs and for counting down how much time Caleb has left before transitioning to a new (usually unpreferred) activity. He has apparently gotten so used to this that he now responds to us, "I need 2 minutes," whenever we ask him to do something. Fortunately for us, he can't tell time or read numbers yet, so 2 minutes varies...