Lucky Me

I just have to put this out there: I am a seriously lucky woman. Okay - so I only believe in luck at the craps table. Let me rephrase: I am an extremely blessed woman. That's more like it. I don't know what I did to deserve Rudy, but I thank God every day for him. Of course, this is not to say that we don't have our moments/days where we don't exactly LIKE each other...but love is never a question. Let me explain -

Last summer was wonderful. We had a beautiful new baby boy and we were learning to be a family instead of a couple. We worked out a great system for feedings and early mornings and our summer went pretty smooth. Caleb was such an easy baby and since he wasn't mobile yet, we spent a lot of time holding him and moving him from the swing to the bouncy seat, etc. When Rudy went back to work in July, things changed, but it still wasn't bad. I learned to compensate for him being gone and we managed quite well. Rudy's job was undeniably stressful for him and he was gone a lot during the fall. Caleb and I were pretty independent, but we all three soaked up every minute we had together as a family. I absolutely don't deny that Rudy has ALWAYS been an extremely hands-on Dad, he just simply had a lot of other responsibilities on his mind as well. He took responsibility for the time-consuming and tedious task of washing bottles (now sippy cups) and doing everything he could to spend time with Caleb as much as possible. But...very few of his precious nights at home went by without a phone call from a staff member, parent or student with some sort of band emergency or without a very necessary block of time spent tending to the things that couldn't be dealt with during the day. Now that Rudy doesn't have the responsibilities of being "Mr. V" 24/7, he has become even more comfortable in the role of "Da-Da" and has amazed me tremendously.
This summer has been more of a challenge for us in some ways than I expected and easier for us in others. I was really worried going into the summer that it would be hard for me to make the switch from professional/mom to full-time mom. In some ways, I was right. On one hand, I thrive on routine. On the other hand, I love summer breaks. I have enjoyed having the extra time to do things with Rudy and Caleb during the day and, of course, I love not being exhausted in the evenings from being at work all day. Once I realized that we needed a little routine in our summer and I worked that out for myself, I started to handle the summer a little better. I just couldn't go day-by-day like some people can. I need a plan. (I know that shocks everyone who knows me!) The additional stress of being in real estate limbo has made things just that much more complicated, but there's no reason to complain about that.

Now, how does this all tie into me being a lucky/blessed/smiled upon woman? Quite simply - Rudy, Caleb and I have learned to dance the dance of family. Rudy and I take care of each other when we need to be taken care of and we step up to take care of Caleb when the other simply doesn't have the "oomph" to do it. We recognize each others' moods and respect them. We know and accept and understand when the other person needs some time alone to do the things that make us who we are and to be a real person - not just a parental robot. There are times, for instance, when I realize that it is quite silly for both of us to be standing at the foot of the stairs "spotting" Caleb in case of a fall and I can say, "You got him?", then go off to take care of something else...or to do something I enjoy. Other times, I find us in the same position, and my immediate response is, "I got him" and encourage Rudy to go do something he wants or needs to do. We've learned the dance and we're getting pretty good at it. Sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like I put too much responsibility on Rudy - as if I'm copping out of what has to be done. I'm sure he feels like he does the same to me from time to time. I think guilt is a part of parenthood that is difficult for all of us to handle. I know it is for me at least.

This weekend was a great example of how we dance the dance. Because Chris was in town on Tuesday, Rudy didn't have the chance to take his usual "Dad's Day Out," so he took it on Friday. I took Caleb to play at church, fed him lunch, put him down for his nap and invited some neighbors over to play in the pool in the late afternoon.

On Saturday, Rudy did his usual early morning with Caleb (a walk, breakfast, Sesame Street and some playtime). He swears he loves this private time with Caleb - but (again) I feel guilty about sleeping in every day when he's getting up. We've talked a lot about how I don't sleep well at night, but sleep very soundly in the mornings when I know that Caleb is being taken care of. Rudy seems to understand this and knows how much I need my sleep, so he is the morning caregiver. Okay - back to Saturday - I joined them mid-morning and we had a lazy day at home. We procrastinated packing all day long and it was great! Once Caleb was in bed, Rudy and I did our own things for the evening (he played poker and I scrapbooked). Saturday night/Sunday morning was tough with Caleb. He woke up a couple of times during the night and it was really hard to get him back to sleep. Finally, I put him down for good at about 3 AM. I was one very tired Mama.

Rudy woke me up for church on Sunday morning and I told him about the night I had just made it through. We agreed that sleep would be best, so I rolled back over and dozed off again. I literally slept until 1:00 in the afternoon! Caleb was napping when I woke up. After I ate lunch and got the sleep out of my system, I was ready to pack. Rudy and I have an agreement that he'll be super-dad if I'll do the majority of the packing. He hates to pack and I don't mind it all that much. When Caleb woke up, Rudy took him to the municipal pool and I packed and packed and packed. When the boys got home, I fed Caleb his dinner and played with him a little. We went for our Sunday night Fritz's (frozen custard) run. When we got home, I gave Caleb a bath and put him to bed. I headed back downstairs to pack some more and (after going to the store to get some more box tape), Rudy relaxed and watched some TV.

Today was my Mom's Day Out! I met Monica and Colleen for lunch at Qdoba. We sat there for 2 1/2 hours! After that, I went to Archiver's for the rest of the day. Rudy and Caleb came up to the mall to play and stopped to say hi to me. Rudy promised me that they were fine and having a great time, so I stayed until 8:00. When I got home, Rudy went to hit some golf balls in preparation for his golf game tomorrow. He just got home a few minutes ago and now we're winding down for the night.

Tomorrow is Dad's Day Out and Caleb and I are going to have fun together! I'm looking forward to it. I missed him today. That's what Mom's Day Out is all about - now I'm recharged and ready to be Mama again. I am so blessed.