Anxiety and Gratitude

“In the midst of my anxieties, Your comforts delight my soul.”  ~ Psalm 94:19

This has been my favorite Bible verse for as long as I can remember.  I claimed it in high school, when my anxieties were much different than they are today, but real all the same.  Now my teenage anxieties of boys, friends and social gaffes have been replaced by raising children, maintaining a marriage and household, world events and a career.  And, yet, the same God who comforted me then comforts me now.  The same sense of peace envelops me when I hear the familiar hymns of my childhood.  The same tears spill over when I sense the amazing grace of forgiveness.  The same joy bubbles up when I realize that I am safe in the hands of the omnipotent Father.  The same amazement fills my senses when I feel the presence of God in my daily life. 

I am not perfect – far from it – but I am forgiven.  I am repeatedly forgiven by a patient and loving God through nothing but pure grace.  I have moments of anger that sometimes turn into days and weeks of resentment.  I speak words and think thoughts of impurity, jealousy, judgment, greed and unkindness.  I am short on temper and patience.  I speak my mind and say too much when no words are needed.  I am not good at hiding my feelings and I’ve never been good at pretending when it comes to emotions.  I don’t pray enough and I rarely spend time in my Bible.  I am not the example of Christianity that I should be for others.  But I am forgiven.  I know my God and I know my Savior and I know that my conscience is the Spirit.  I begin each day renewed and try again to do better.  Every day I fail and every morning I begin again.  He asks nothing more than that. 

When my anxieties are high, I find great comfort in listening to music that directs my thoughts to God.  (When I was in labor with Caleb, I repeatedly listened to ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust In Jesus.)  A few weeks ago, I was driving to work with the anxiety of the previous day and the coming day heavy on my mind.  I wanted to hear those comforting messages through song, so I turned to the local Christian radio station.  The kids were in the backseat, jabbering away, but my ears could not believe the words I heard.  The morning host was reading from a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  The passage that she read was this,

"For years, I have pulled the covers up over my head, dreading to begin another day I’d be bound to just wreck…  Yesterday morning, the morning before, all these mornings, I wake to the discontent of life in my skin… To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing.  Always, the failing.  I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning the toilets.  I live tired.  Afraid.  Anxious. Weary.  Years, I feel it in the veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes.  Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough? 

I found myself wiping away tears as I listened to these words.  I could have written those words (though not as eloquently).  How many mornings have I wanted to pull the covers over my head because the daunting task of just making it through the day was too much to think about?   “The wrestle to get it all done” – Amen.  “I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary.” – Amen and Amen.  I couldn’t scramble fast enough when I got to work to try to find out just where this passage came from.  I read about the book, read about the author and read the reviews.  I knew I had to read the rest.  I was called to read the rest.  I downloaded it when I got home from work and began reading it that night.  The heart-wrenching story of the author’s childhood brought a flood of all-too-personal emotions. 

At the end of the first chapter, she is talking to her brother-in-law, who has just lost the second of his two sons to a vicious childhood disease.  She says that she would like to “write this story differently.”  And, there, in the depth of his grief, this father tells her that, “…maybe you don’t want to change the story, because you don’t know what a different ending holds.”  Wow.  Just wow.  How many times have I asked why God would let something happen the way it happens?  How many times have I wondered what His purpose could possibly be?  Now I understand a little better.  He knows how the story ends.  He knows how the storyline needs to play out for the ending to be what it should be.  Just wow.

The following night, I read the second chapter.  It was the story of how she came to terms with her anxiety, anger and feeling of being consumed with the daily tasks of life.  What I learned in that chapter has changed my life.  She talked about the concept of eucharisteo – being grateful, giving thanks.  The fact that giving thanks is “the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives.”  The author begins the task of finding 1000 things to be grateful for and in that challenge finds unbelievable joy.  As I read her words it became obvious to me that my challenge would be to find something to be thankful for in every situation.  Some might call it a silver lining.  It is not an easy task, but even in my weak attempts, I have been able to find joy in things that I would never have been able to see as joyful had I not looked at it through these words. 

Despite this new way of trying to look at things, I don’t jump out of bed in the mornings, excited about the challenges ahead.  I’m not there yet.  I may never be, but I don’t dread the days.  I am not grateful for the piles of laundry, but I’m grateful for the people who make them and for the amenities to take care of them.  I’m not grateful for the bills, but for the fact that I don’t have to work 2 jobs to pay them.  I’m not grateful for stresses at work, but for the fact that work is one of my stressors when so many people are unemployed.  It is a simple way of looking at things, but a difficult one as well.  Our human nature is to see the rain and not the rainbow. 

This is a video trailer for the book. The author’s dramatic voice is a little cheesy, but the words and images are so powerful.

(I’m continuing to read the book now.  I also enjoy the videos for each chapter that can be found at the InCourage book club site.)

Anxieties absolutely still exist.  Just this week, a tremendous earthquake shook Japan, causing horrible damage.  As I write this, the news is covering the possibility of meltdown at the nuclear reactors in that area.  There is unrest throughout the world, specifically in the Middle East.  Our own country’s military is still in Afghanistan and Iraq in a war that I cannot support.  (Though I do support the men and women who are willing to serve in our country’s military.)  Our economy is horrendous and gas prices are the highest I can remember at $3.45 per gallon.  Our government is at odds with itself, as partisan politics are hindering progress and rational thinking.  Our education system is practically in ruins, with more emphasis on test results than on educating children.  In our state, we are experiencing earthquakes, tornadoes, unheard of blizzards and unexplainable mass deaths of birds and fish.  There are gangs, drugs, unwanted children, women forced into prostitution, violence, poverty and unspeakable crimes.  Yes, there is plenty to be anxious about. 

Recent events have made me (and lots of other people) wonder about God’s timing.  I know we’re not supposed to try to guess.  There’s no point in that after all.  With each new event, I can’t help but wonder, though.  Matthew 24:4-8 says, “⁴ Jesus told them, “Don’t let anyone mislead you, ⁵ for many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah.’ They will deceive many. ⁶ And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don’t panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won’t follow immediately. ⁷ Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. ⁸ But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come.”  Sounds familiar, right?  Famines?  Earthquakes?  Wars?  Oh, boy…more to come. 

The scripture goes on to say, “⁹ “Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. ¹⁰ And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. ¹¹ And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. ¹² Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. ¹³ But the one who endures to the end will be saved. ¹⁴ And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.”  Well, goodness, that whole part about being arrested, persecuted and killed sounds fun.  The part about hated all over the world sounds fun too...and a little familiar these days.  Sin rampant everywhere?  Yeah, I think we have that covered.  I’d say if the earth isn’t feeling birth pains now, she’s sure getting warmed up (global warming pun only partially intended).  And yet, I remember that “³⁶ “No one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.”

For now, we watch and wait with lingering anxiety.  We try to protect our children both from the potential danger and from the fear of it.  We hold them an extra moment longer when we have to leave them and we always kiss them goodnight because we don’t know what the next moment will hold.  We watch and wait with lingering anxiety and we try, try, try to be grateful in all things so that we might experience the true joy and comforts of the salvation that we do not deserve.

Make It Work, People

Project Runway is one of my favorite shows.  I’m not sure why.  I like what I consider fashion, but I’m not obsessed with it and my idea of fashion tends to differ vastly from the judges’ opinions on the show.  The drama on the “reality” show is awesome and the diva personalities of the designers range from maddening to likable to blah.  My favorite part of the show is watching Tim Gunn do his thing as the consultant to the designers.  Some of his catchphrases have made their way into my vernacular.  My two favorites are “carry on” and “make it work.” 

“Make it work” has kind of been a theme for our household for a while now.  Between sick kids, some rough patches at work, a hectic schedule and the general ups and downs of family life, some days I feel like we are doing all we can to make it work. 

This week has been a pretty good one.  We have successfully made it work despite some bumps in the road.  We went to church on Sunday, then out to lunch at Einstein’s.  The boys made a trip to Academy to get some equipment to start preparing for t-ball, which starts in just a couple of weeks.  While they were gone, I got the urge to take some pictures.  Nola was my model as usual and despite the fact that she wasn’t very interested in the idea, I managed to get some pretty good shots, including this one: 
Wednesday was by far the hardest day of the week for me.  Rudy had class, so I picked the kids up at daycare with full intentions of spending the evening at church.  I had talked to our children’s ministry director about starting a playgroup on Wednesday nights and this week was supposed to be the first night.  Nola and I were there, but nobody else showed up.  I sent Caleb to the 4 year old class and then sat in the room with Nola for 45 minutes but nobody else came.  I was disappointed, but realized that the announcement had only gone out earlier that week and maybe other people couldn’t come on such short notice.  After that, I picked up Caleb and got ready for dinner at church before the Ash Wednesday service.  I managed to get a highchair to our table while carrying Nola and guiding Caleb through the crowd.  Once our stuff was settled, I maneuvered through the buffet line to get baked potatoes for myself and Nola and chicken nuggets for Caleb.  We sat down and I got Caleb started eating while I cut up food for a very impatient and hungry Nola.  I had forgotten to bring a bag for her, so we were without a bib, a sippy cup or any extra diapers.  I managed to feed her bits of food to keep her occupied, but realized that I was becoming more and more stressed with every passing minute.  It was just too hard to manage feeding both of them and myself from a baked potato bar.  I finally gave up and as I was gathering our things and picking up the mess that Nola had made on the floor, she began to cry.  By the time I got her out of there, she was in full meltdown.  People were staring at me, but nobody offered to help.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  I made the difficult decision to throw in the towel and skip the Ash Wednesday service.  I had really wanted to go to that and share that experience with Caleb, but there was just no way.  I needed to get home.  I drove home with tears in my eyes, feeling frustrated and disheartened that I hadn’t been able to “make it work.”

On Thursday, I made it to work and realized that I had forgotten my workout pants.  I ran to WalMart at lunch and bought a pair of pants and some other things that I needed and then went back to work.  After work, I went into the bathroom to change clothes.  Once I was fully dressed, I realized that I had also forgotten my shoes.  I was bound and determined not to skip my workout, so I went (in my socks) to the Shoe Dept and bought some new shoes.  I met Leola for our workout and we tried 3 different rooms before we could find a place where our DVDs would work.  We were rocking and rolling along for about 30 minutes when I realized that my toes were quickly going numb.  The new shoes were not working for me.  We stopped our workout a little early and when I got ready to leave, I realized I didn’t have my keys.  I retraced my steps and found my keys in the first room that we had tried.  By that time, I needed to get to church for my board meeting.  The meeting was short and sweet as usual and then I came home at 7:00 – 12 hours after I left – understanding a little better what my ADHD students must feel like every day.

Friday afternoon, I went to the Rhea Lana consignment sale with Stacy and got some great clothes for Nola at a good price.  Then I ran in Hobby Lobby to get the supplies to make Caleb’s birthday invitations before picking the kids up from daycare.  I fed both of them pancakes for supper, we took a walk around the neighborhood and then I put Nola to bed.  Caleb and I snuggled in my bed watching a movie and then went to sleep before Rudy got home from his work obligation.

We didn’t have much to do today until our pictures for the church directory late this afternoon.  We got all dressed up and the kids did great while we took the pictures.  Unfortunately, they didn’t turn out good at all.  We had trouble even choosing one that we weren’t embarrassed to put in the directory.  We certainly didn’t buy any of them, which was a disappointment, since we haven’t had family pictures taken since Caleb was a baby.  After our pictures, we decided to go out to eat.  Rudy suggested Shogun because he thought Caleb would like watching the guy cook our food and do all of that crazy stuff they do while they cook.  It was a mild disaster.  Caleb didn’t like the food.  Nola made a royal mess between trying to eat noodles with her hands and spitting out everything else.  Rudy and I spent all of our time taking care of the two of them and barely tasted our food.  We couldn’t wait to get home.

Tomorrow, I’m taking Caleb to meet Mom and Mr. L. for his week in Hot Springs.  He’s staying with them while Rudy has meetings 3 nights this week and class on the only remaining night.  We’ll meet them again on Friday or Saturday to get him back.  Spring Break starts on Friday at 2:45.  Hallelujah! 
And so we Make It Work…and Carry On.

Happy Fat Tuesday!

This year I decided to celebrate Not-So-Fat Tuesday. I passed up the King Cake in the teacher's lounge, worked my tail off at Zumba and then came home to make a reduced calorie version of Shrimp & Crawfish Creole. I'm not much of a cook, and I even have trouble following a recipe, but it turned out pretty good. I've never posted a recipe before, but I've been asked to share it, so here goes...

Ingredients:
- 1 lb raw shrimp (peeled & deveined, w/o tails) {I bought a 14 oz bag with tails, b/c I wasn't about to pay the price for fresh seafood at this time of year.}
- 1 lb crawfish tail meat {It kills me to use the bagged frozen crawfish from Vietnam, but that's all I can get around here when they aren't in season and I'm sure not going to peel enough of them to get a whole pound of tail meat.}
- 1 onion, 1 bell pepper, 1 stalk of celery (all chopped) {the Holy Trinity of Cajun recipes}
- 1/2 c parsley (chopped)
- 1/2 c green onions (chopped)
- 6 oz can of tomato paste
- 2 (14 oz) cans of tomato sauce
- 1/2 c butter substitute (we use smart balance & you could probably get by with using a little less)
- 2 garlic cloves
- brown rice

Directions:
1. Sauté onion, bell pepper, celery, garlic & butter substitute until golden
2. Add meat. Cover & cook on medium heat until the shrimp are pink
3. Add tomato sauce & paste. Cook about 30-40 minutes on low-med heat.
5. Add parsley & green onions. Cook 5 minutes.
6. Serve over brown rice.

It made 8 cups - not counting the rice. In case you're wondering, each 1 cup serving was 6 WW PointsPlus points. The rice was 6 points per cup. Not too shabby for a 12 point dinner!

Laissez bon temps rouler!

Birthday Babies

I just realized that I haven’t posted my favorite picture of Nola from her birthday.    
And just for good measure, let’s see how sweet her brother was on his first birthday too…

The Week from…

The 2 weeks (give or take a few days) in February of being snowed in and not being able to be in the germ pool of school were glorious for us.  Everyone got well – even Nola.  We were all healthy and doing great until the night of the 16th.  The only way I know to even explain this is on a day-by-day basis.  It’s unbelievable even to me – and I lived it.

Wednesday, 2/16 – Rudy went to class and came home around 9:00 as usual.  He usually sleeps on the couch when he gets home late because he likes to relax and watch TV before he can go to sleep.  He woke up during the night with chills and fever.  He finally got back to sleep and felt a little better when he woke up, so he went to work. 

Thursday, 2/17 – Rudy still wasn’t feeling great, so he went to the walk-in clinic.  The doctor there diagnosed him with a sinus infection, wrote him a prescription for an antibiotic and sent him on his way.  He came home feeling awful, but knew it was a sinus infection, so he stayed in the mix with the family that night.

Friday, 2/18 – I woke up around 4 AM because my throat hurt so bad I couldn’t breathe well.  I took my temperature, but didn’t have a fever.  I looked in my throat and didn’t see white pockets, so I ate a cough drop and went back to bed.  I woke up still feeling the sore throat, but went to work because I didn’t have fever.  (I have NO sick days left this year.)  I pushed through my day at work and felt a little worse as the day went on.  By 2:00, I was miserable.  That’s when the chills set in.  I went to the school nurse and didn’t have a fever, but I knew something was wrong, so I left work about 20 minutes early and went to the walk-in clinic.  After I told the nurse all of my symptoms, the doctor came in and asked me, “Do you have strep or the flu?”  I told him I hoped I didn’t have either one and I really didn’t want to be tested for either one because those swabs freak me out.  He looked in my throat and told me that he didn’t even need to swab me.  I had strep throat.  He wrote my prescriptions and sent me on my way.  I picked up my meds and came home to crawl under the covers.  I hurt from head to toe and back again and thought I was going to freeze to death.  I texted Rudy to tell him what was going on and he said he would take the kids to the boat show so that the house would be quiet.  I fell asleep and barely remember anything until Saturday.  I remember them coming in and I remember hearing Rudy and Nola coughing, but I was too sick to do anything about it.  Plus – I sure didn’t want to give anyone else strep.  So, I stayed in bed.

Saturday, 2/19 – I only got out of bed to go to the bathroom.  Rudy was supposed to have gone to do a volunteer music program at the library in Fayetteville, but he called and cancelled because he didn’t feel well.  Kathy was going to come over and watch the kids, but he cancelled that too.  I listened to him coughing and noticed that it was getting worse, but there was nothing I could do to help him.

Sunday, 2/20 – I woke up feeling like a new person.  I was still tired and weak, but I was able to walk and talk, which was a huge improvement.  Rudy and Caleb went to church because Rudy was scheduled to play his trumpet.  When they got home from church, Rudy was feeling awful.  He mentioned going to the doctor on Monday, but I encouraged him to go ahead and go on Sunday.  He did and texted me from the clinic to tell me that he had the flu.  I got the bed ready for him and as soon as he walked in the door, he was quarantined to the bedroom.

This is what our kitchen counter looked like on Sunday afternoon…

Monday, 2/21 – I went to work and took the kids to daycare.  They called me around noon to tell me that Nola had a fever.  It was less than 100*, so I didn’t go get her.  I left school as soon as I could and picked them up.  I took both of them to the pediatric clinic.  We saw Dr. Schaefer and he wrote prescriptions for both kids to prevent them from getting the flu.  When we left there, we went to eat and then to WalMart to get the medicines and some groceries.  By the time we got home, it was bedtime for the kids.  Rudy was still in the bed with the flu.

Tuesday, 2/22 – The kids and I went to school as usual.  Nola was still coughing her head off, but didn’t have fever over 100*, so I took her.  We made it through the day and I picked the kids up as soon as possible.  Caleb was a real trooper and entertained himself very well while I tended to Nola, made sure Rudy had what he needed and did the usual household things that need to be done.  I called my mom to tell her that we were going to need some help because Nola was getting worse and Rudy wasn’t getting any better.  She offered to come on Wednesday.  I called Jan to see if she could come to watch Nola until my mom got here and she agreed to, but couldn’t come until Wednesday morning.  Shortly after that, my mom called back and said that she was already an hour outside of Hot Springs and headed our way.  I called Jan back to tell her that she didn’t need to come.  Mom got to our house at 11:15 Tuesday night.  I swear she was wearing invisible angel wings.

Wednesday, 2/23 – Mom stayed home with Nola.  Rudy stayed quarantined in the bedroom.  Caleb and I went to school.  I came home to a hot meal, a clean house and the peace of mind that Nola had been taken care of all day without worry.  It was glorious.

Thursday, 2/24 – Rudy tried to go to work, but only made it 1/2 the day before he couldn’t go any further.  Mom kept Nola.  Caleb and I did our usual thing.  Again, I came home to a hot meal, a clean house and peace of mind.  Still glorious.

Friday, 2/25 was a repeat of Thursday, except I had told Mom that I would pick up dinner.  It ended up that I picked her and Nola up and they rode with me to Sam’s.  After that, we went in a consignment shop and then to get Caleb from school.  We stopped at PF Chang’s to get some take-out and Steak & Shake to get food for the kids.  We came home and ate, then spent the rest of the night visiting and catching up.

Saturday, 2/26 – I stayed up into the early hours of the morning planning Caleb’s birthday party and decompressing my mind from the week.  Mom had told me that I could sleep in on Saturday, so I was planning to do that.  She woke me up at 4 AM to tell me that she had gotten sick during the night and had to go home.  We scrambled to get her things in the car and I prayed that she would make it safely before going back to sleep.  She called when she got home to tell me that she was okay.  We spent the rest of the day being lazy and trying to recuperate from our manic week.

Sunday, 2/27 – Rudy was feeling a little better, but still not great, so we stayed home from church.  Nola was still coughing and I was just exhausted.  Caleb was still being a trooper.  I took him with me to WalMart to get some groceries.  We came home and I made dinner before getting ready for the week.

Monday, 2/28 – Amazingly, everybody went where they were supposed to go and stayed there all day.  I had a meeting until 4:00 and then went to Weight Watchers, where I found out that I’ve lost 12 lbs since January 10th!!  Rudy picked up the kids and I met them at home, then we all went out to dinner. 

Tuesday, 3/1 – I picked the kids up from daycare and took them to the park.  Rudy went back to the walk-in clinic to get some cough medicine so he can sleep.  He found out that he has an irregular heartbeat and has to see a doctor about it.  The doctor at the clinic told him it’s nothing to worry about, but that he should have it checked out sometime.  We’re taking both parts of that advice.

Now it’s Friday night.  The rest of the week has been pretty normal.  Nola is still coughing.  Rudy is still coughing, but has good cough medicine so he can sleep.  I’m doing fine and staying very busy at work.  I have an intern this semester, so I’m not having to bring home as much paperwork, which is nice.  Rudy took Caleb to meet Jan last night and he is spending the weekend in Tulsa with her and Bill.  Nola and I are hanging out tomorrow at home while Rudy has to work.  Fayetteville is having a make up snow day tomorrow.  School on a Saturday!  I’m looking forward to getting Caleb home, then we’ll turn around and it’ll be spring break.  I can’t wait…

Snowpocalypse 2011

After Nola’s birthday party on the 29th, Caleb went home to Hot Springs with LaLa and Pops.  We’d had it planned for a while because Rudy had a very busy week ahead with 3 concerts and a night of class.  He was going to be gone Monday-Thursday, so we asked my parents if Caleb could stay with them so that I didn’t have to pretend to be a single mom for a whole week.  All went as planned until…

We went to work on Monday and kept hearing forecasts of snow.  Actually, the local news forecast showed a 110% chance of snow with a high temperature of 13 degrees.   As a preventative measure, I drove out to get Rudy’s grandmother to stay with us.  The last time we had a major snowstorm, her power went out for a while.  We didn’t want to take the chance of her being stranded in her house without power, so we had her stay at our house.  We wondered how much we would have, but you just never know if we’ll actually get what’s forecasted, so we didn’t worry too much.  We woke up Tuesday morning (Feb 1) to a blanket of snow.  It was the biggest, most beautiful snowfall I’ve ever seen.  I watched out the window as those giant flakes fluttered to the ground all day.  Caleb had left a junior-sized soccer ball in the backyard and I watched it gradually disappear under the blanket of white.  We ended up with about 7 inches of snow on top of a layer of ice.  Rudy was able to get his grandmother home on Wednesday, but it was slow-going.  We were out of school for the rest of the week.  The roads were slick and no matter how hard we tried, Rudy couldn’t safely get out of Northwest Arkansas to get Caleb until Saturday.  We were so sad that our little man couldn’t be here to enjoy sledding and playing in the snow like he loves to do.  When they got home, they couldn’t wait to get out on the snow.  Here are some pictures of their adventure (scroll over for description):

By the weekend, things were pretty clear.  We were able to get out and about, but still had to watch for slick spots on the roads.  We went to church on Sunday and then out to lunch with some friends.  We watched the Super Bowl on Sunday night while getting ready to go back to school on Monday.  (I was in the minority of viewers, because I loved the Black Eyed Peas’ halftime show.)  We went to school on Monday and Tuesday, hearing forecasts of another possible 2-5 inches of snow on Wednesday.  Everyone was expecting to go to school, because there was no ice forecasted.  I woke up at my usual time, checked Twitter, saw that school was closed and went back to sleep.  Rudy let me sleep in and when I woke up at 9:00, I was dumbstruck.  By that time, there was already a massive amount on top of the snow that was still on the grass from the previous snowfall.  The forecasters were WRONG.   We did not end up getting 2-5 inches.  We got 18-20 inches of new snow.  It snowed all day like crazy.  Rudy couldn’t stand it and decided to go out and shovel the driveway.  While he was out there, he took some pictures.  Here’s what it looked like at our house on February 9th:

Caleb REALLY wanted to help his daddy shovel the driveway.  We almost lost him out there in the deep, deep snow!

We decided to take advantage of all of that fluffy white stuff and make some snow ice cream.  Caleb thought that was the coolest thing ever (pardon the pun)…

The good thing about this snowstorm was that it was followed by some really warm days, so it didn’t stick around for long.  The boys got to do a little more sledding, but the roads were clear within a couple of days.  I even managed to get a day of scrapbooking in on Saturday with Stacy before going on a pre-Valentine’s date on Saturday night with Rudy.  By the time we went back to school on the following Monday, we were sick of snow.  We ended up missing 10 days of school (so far) this year for snow.  That means that we’re getting out in June instead of May.  That’s a disappointment, but I loved those snow days.  We all hung out together and made some memories that will last forever.  But – really – we’re okay with no more snow this year. 

Nola @ 12 Months (and a little beyond…)

Yes, Ms. Nola turned TWELVE months old on January 27th!
Here's what she's up to these days...

• Nola went to the doctor on February 14th for her well visit.  She weighed 23 lbs (75.55 percentile) was 28.5” tall (24.1 percentile) and had a head circumference of 47 cm.  She got her 2nd flu shot, a chicken pox shot, an MMR shot and a pneumonia shot at that appointment too.
  
• When she turned 12 months, she was still taking bottles when she woke up.  Shortly after that, on February 10th, we decided to start “bottle rehab.”  We boxed up all of her bottles and replaced them with sippy cups.  Day one was not fun.  After that, she started to get the hang of it.   By the 13th, she was completely fine with it.  We donated all of her bottles to Loving Choices.  God willing, there will never be bottles in our house again – at least not for our own children.
  
• We were going to switch to sippy cups and milk at the same time, but our well visit got pushed back a couple weeks due to the snow.  I wasn’t comfortable making the formula to milk switch without her doctor’s okay, so we did that after our visit.  Since February 15th, she hasn’t had any formula at all.  She drinks only whole milk.  We give her milk in the mornings when she wakes up and she drinks it at lunch at daycare.  Otherwise, she’s drinking water or juice or diluted juice from sippy cups at all of her meals and snacks.
  
• Speaking of meals and snacks…the girl LOVES to eat.  She will eat pretty much anything we give her.  Bananas continue to be her absolute favorite food.  She gets so excited when she sees us with one.  She starts clapping her hands together (her sign for “more”) and grinning.  She also loves yogurt, cheese, bread, pancakes, turkey, chicken, salmon, pizza toppings, spaghetti, soup (with the broth strained out), cooked carrots and the toddler ravioli meals from Gerber.  She’ll pretty much eat anything that we eat as long as it’s not spicy.  She (of course) LOVES sweets.  When we give her a bite of something that she really likes, she says, “mmm” and grins and claps.  If it’s something really good and she’s never had it before, she might even laugh.
  
• Nola still wears size 4 diapers.  She can still wear some of her 12 month clothes.  Her 18 month clothes aren’t as snug, but they are usually too long.  When she tries to crawl in her 18 month PJ’s, she gets tangled up in the legs because they are too long.  She wears size 3 shoes.
  
• Just recently, Nola has started walking while holding onto our hands.  She’ll even walk holding one hand, but it’s slow going and she won’t do it for long.  She would much rather crawl.  We’ve seen her let go of the furniture that she’s holding onto once or twice, but she’s not quite ready to take a step yet.  She is starting to get a little braver though.  She has gone from cruising the furniture to walking while holding on to the wall.
  
• She has started pointing lately at anything and everything.  She usually points and says, “ga” or “da”.  We try to label what she points to, but sometimes we have no idea what exactly that might be.
  
• As for words – she’s not very consistent.  (I still blame that on the persistent fluid in her ears.)  She said “mama” very clearly on 2/12 – right after she gave me one of her big kisses that seems like she’s going to take a bite out of whomever she is kissing.  I nearly melted to the floor when she did it.  She still says “mama” sometimes, but usually, she says, “mamamama.”  She has also said “dada”.  She said it today when she saw Rudy after school and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s done that where we knew for sure that she was actually calling him “dada”.  We think she’s calling Caleb “ba” or “bab.”  She does it somewhat consistently, but she says that syllable so often that we’re not completely sure.  She will imitate “uh-oh”, but she says “uh-uh” instead.  She gets the intonation, just not the syllable change.  She also babbles with conversational intonation and she plays with sound a lot, repeating sound patterns and sing-song babbling as though she’s carrying on a conversation with herself.  She’ll imitate a few syllables like “kah” when we say “quack quack”, but she doesn’t spontaneously say any other words.
  
• What she lacks in words, she makes up for in gestures.  She signs “more” by clapping.  (She only does it for food, though.  I guess technically that would mean that she’s signing “eat” by clapping, right?)  She waves any time she hears the words “bye-bye” and she usually blows kisses when we ask her to by opening her mouth and patting it with her hand.  When she’s doing something she knows she’s not supposed to do and I say her name with a stern tone, she looks up at me and smiles while shaking her head.  I have to try really hard not to laugh because it’s pretty cute.  Sometimes when we are talking to her, she’ll raise her eyebrows up and nod like she’s really agreeing with everything we’re saying.  I’ve tried to get video of these things, but she clams up every time I get the camera out.
  
• She still sucks her thumb.  A lot.  Pretty much any time I pick her up, she puts her thumb in her mouth and she always does it when she’s tired or if something upsets her.  I asked the pediatrician if there is anything I can do about it and he said it’s too early to worry about it.  Everyone always comments about how cute it is and I just cringe.
  
• Nola now has 7 teeth – 4 on the top and 3 on the bottom.  That 4th bottom one should be coming through any day now.
  
• Nola moved up to the toddler room at daycare on February 14th.  She’s now a “Busy Bee.”  One of her daycare workers was also Caleb’s daycare worker when he was 18 months.  Nola is the only child in the class that doesn’t walk.  In the class, she sits in a little chair at a table for her meals and sleeps on a cot instead of in a crib.  Apparently, she’s doing pretty well with it.  She usually sleeps anywhere from an hour to 2 hours at naptime.  The girls in her class tell us that she eats pretty much everything they give her and hasn’t had trouble at the table at all.

Let’s see how our sweet girl has grown this year…

And, here’s what I got when I TRIED to take her 12 month picture:

Apparently, she wasn’t in the mood to model.

Nola’s Birthday Party

We celebrated Nola’s first birthday with a small party at our house on January 29th.  Mom and Mr. L. were already here after taking care of Nola while she was sick.  We were joined by Jan & Bill, Nana and Aunt Kathy.  We decided not to try to do anything really fancy this year, since Nola isn’t really a social butterfly at age 1.  We don’t have any close friends who have toddlers, so it seemed like a family party would be just the right thing.  Rudy and Mr. L. smoked a ham that morning and we served that with rolls, fruit, veggies and chips.  Of course, we had to have cake!  I decided we’d celebrate our little girl with little cakes, so I ordered petit fours with “N” and “1” on them in colors to match the plates and napkins that I found.  We were pleasantly surprised that it was sunny and warm enough for us to have lunch outside.  Here are some photos of Nola’s big event (scroll over for description):