Friday, May 18, 2007

Ups and Downs

When I picked Caleb up from Carrie's yesterday, she said that she was worried about him. She said that (once again), he just wasn't himself today. He woke up from his nap crying like he was in pain. The only word I can think of to describe what I'm seeing in him is deflated. He's just not the happy-go-lucky, cheerful, laughing little boy that I'm used to. He was very blah all the way home. When we got to the house, I took him upstairs to change his clothes for our evening plans and he started crying hysterically. He cried for at least 30 minutes (maybe even more). This was the sort of crying that scares me. He was sobbing when I was holding him and screaming when I put him down. I finally calmed him by turning on his favorite video long enough for me to pack his diaper bag and his dinner. As soon as I got it all packed, I went out to put him in the car. When we got outside, I saw that Jen and her boys were playing in the driveway, so we went over there to say hi. Shortly after we showed up, two other neighbors came over with their one-year-old boys. I was very concerned about Caleb. In the past, he has loved being with other kids. Yesterday, it was like he didn't even know they were there. He never acknowledged them with a point or a stare or anything. He just kept crawling away. I would bring him back to the group and he would crawl off into the grass. It broke my heart.

When everyone went in for dinner, I put Caleb in the car and we went to the Teddy Bear Picnic at the Parkway Early Childhood Center. Our house was being shown, so we couldn't go home and I had already registered for the event, so we went. When we got there, I thought Caleb would love seeing all of the other kids, but he didn't really seem to care. He brightened my mood by "dancing" to the music while he ate his dinner, but that was the only spark that I saw in him the whole time. He didn't want anything to do with all of those other kids.

We went home at about 6:30 and met Rudy there. Caleb played some and then it was time for him to go to bed. He went down to bed without a fight and didn't wake up until almost 7:00 this morning. Hopefully, I'll get a good report this afternoon when I pick him up.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

An Update (AKA: The Sun Is Shining Again and the Roses are in Bloom)

Thanks to everyone who has e-mailed asking how Caleb is doing today. He seems to be feeling much better. Carrie said that he had a very normal day at her house and took a good nap. This afternoon/evening were great. He played and ate and had a grand old time. Rudy was home before Caleb and I were. That really helped, because we could share the parenting responsibilities. I honestly don't know how single parents do it. I have a whole new respect these days! We had a nice family dinner, gave Caleb a bath and then played for a while until bedtime. He went down to bed easily and hasn't made a peep since then (knock on wood).
Rudy and I both commented tonight on how lucky we are that Caleb is the sort of kid who can entertain himself for a while. We were both just sitting back watching him play and we were amazed at how he played with his toys and moved around the room to find something new when he got bored. He was even "driving" one of his toy trucks across the floor tonight. He has grown up so much in just the past couple of weeks. It's truly amazing.

Not All Sunshine and Roses

I know most of the time, I post all of the good things that come along with having a sweet, loving one-year-old in my life. The past couple of days have been a reality check and today's post reflects that.

Sunday night/Monday morning - Caleb woke up at 1:09 SCREAMING like someone was torturing him. I bolted out of bed and went to check on him. I found him in his bed, curled up on his stomach (like usual), but crying to beat the band. I did what any freaked-out mother would do - I picked him up! As soon as I picked him up, he started to calm down, but continued to cry. Usually when he wakes up upset, I rock him for a few minutes and he goes right back to bed. So - I tried that. As soon as I put him back in his bed, the screaming started again. I really thought he'd go to sleep, so I climbed back in bed. 10 minutes later, he was still screaming. I went back in his room and picked him up, took him downstairs, tried to give him some water, gave him some medicine and then collapsed in the recliner. Rudy had gotten up, but there was no point in both of us being up and miserable the next day, so I sent him back to bed. I got Caleb back to sleep and tried to put him back in his bed. Nope - screaming. So - we went back to the recliner and I tried to sleep with him on my chest. He slept like a rock and I dozed off and on until 4:45. That was the point when I was so tired, I started to feel sick. I crept back up the stairs and held my breath as I put him in his bed. He rolled right over and slept. Praise the Lord! I went to bed and slept until the alarm went off at 6:00.

Monday afternoon - When I picked Caleb up at Carrie's house, she said that he had had a good day. He was still fussy and clingy, but he had napped and had eaten normally. I was hoping beyond hope for a good night. We got home and went about our normal routine. I put him in his PJ's and put mine on too. When Rudy got home at 5:00, I was planning to turn over primary responsibility to him and try to get some sleep. That's when the phone rang and the real estate office said someone wanted to come look at the house. Dang. I got dressed and Rudy dressed Caleb. We went to Red Robin for dinner and - surprisingly - Caleb was in a great mood. He had an absolute blast playing with a balloon and eating mac & cheese. After that, we went to Sam's for diapers and then headed home. I slept fitfully Monday night - probably a result of the 3 glasses of iced tea I guzzled at dinner to try to keep my eyes open.

Tuesday afternoon - I picked Caleb up from Carrie's and she had a weary look on her face. She said that he had only slept for 20 minutes and just wasn't his normal self at all. He wanted to be held, then wanted down - but cried when you put him down. That was pretty much what I had seen for a couple of days too. In addition to that, his legs, arms and face had several big red spots on them. I called the pediatician's advice line and left a message for the nurse. I was dreading the night ahead, because Rudy had the middle school end-of-the-year concert and wouldn't be home until after Caleb's bedtime. It was looking like a long, stressful night. When we got home, I put Caleb's PJ's on him for comfort, changed into some comfy clothes for myself, gave Caleb some finger foods to appease him (I know...bad mom) and popped myself some popcorn. Just as I sat down to eat my popcorn at 4:00, the phone rang. I explained all of the situation to her and she wasn't worried until I told her that he wasn't sleeping well. She asked me to bring him in - if I could get him there by 4:30. In the meantime, my cell phone rang and the real estate office number showed up on caller ID. I kicked it in high gear, straightened up the house, threw away the popcorn and got Caleb (and me) dressed and hit the road with sweat dripping from my forehead. We pulled into the parking lot at exactly 4:30. The nurse took a look at Caleb and said that he had bug bites - bad bug bites. She recommended cortizone cream and bug spray. She actually suggested long sleeves, but that's just not possible. It's already at least 80 degrees every day. The poor kid would sweat all the time! So, I wrote a copay check and we left the doctor's office in the pouring down rain. Traffic crawled all the way home and I found myself in the drive-through at McDonald's. Stress-eating is my downfall! When we got home, he was asleep in the carseat. I got him out and he laid his head down on my shoulder. I thought I might be able to put him in his bed for a short nap. As soon as I laid him down, he started crying. As soon as he started crying, the phone rang. I was afraid it might be the real estate office, so I ran to answer it. It was my mom, who completely understood that I just couldn't talk right then. We hung up and the phone rang again. I - again - answered it and it was Jerry. He immediately asked me what was wrong. I spewed off the whole story and told him I'd call him back. I went back into Caleb's room and changed his clothes/diaper, feed him dinner and play for about 5 minutes before our parent educator showed up for his 12 month visit. I know I must have looked like I had been through the wringer. That's because I had.

On a happier note, Amy (our PE) assured me that Caleb is meeting all of his developmental milestones just fine. He's doing some things that aren't expected at his age (mostly fine motor skills) and is struggling with some gross motor development, but he's not "behind" - just coming along a little slower than some kids do. I'm not worried about that at all!

After Amy left, Caleb and I played for a little while, then I took him upstairs for bed. He did not want to go to bed and made that abundantly clear. We read 5 stories instead of our usual 3 and sang about 10 songs instead of our usual 3 before he finally got sleepy. He laid his head down on my shoulder and I knew I could breathe a little easier. I laid him down and he cried for a few minutes before finally going to sleep at 7:45.

I was completely exhausted. I switched the laundry, called my mom back, left Jerry a message, washed all of the sippy cups, checked my e-mail and fell in the bed. When Rudy left the concert at 9:30, he called to see what it was we needed from Walgreen's. I asked him to bring home the cortizone cream and some bug repellent.

This morning, Caleb woke up at 6:00 jabbering. Rudy went in and got him and he was in his usual jovial mood. I'm hoping this means that this phase is almost over. I guess we'll see what happens tonight. I'm tired.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

My 2nd Mother's Day

Today is my 2nd Mother's Day. It's hard to believe that! As I write this, Caleb is napping peacefully in his crib and I'm sitting on the back patio enjoying the sunshine and quiet. It has been a fun weekend at our house and we're soaking up every last minute of it.

Caleb and I went to a baby shower after I got off work on Friday. When we got home, it was playtime and bedtime for the little one. Rudy and I enjoyed the rest of the evening by just relaxing and watching TV.

Saturday was absolutely gorgeous and we just knew we needed to get out! After Caleb's nap, we packed up and went to the botanical gardens. We were just looking for a place to enjoy the nice weather that might have some things for Caleb to do too. He liked playing with the blocks in the children's garden and watching the other kids, but we decided that none of us are really the garden-visiting type. We left there and went to the playground in Tower Grove Park. That was a lot more fun. Caleb enjoyed the swing and the play structure there. After playing for a little while, we went to dinner at our favorite St. Louis restaurant - Cunetto's. It was wonderful as usual and we even had leftovers for lunch today!

This morning, Rudy took care of Caleb while I slept in (the greatest Mother's Day treat I could ask for). They came and woke me up in time to open my cards (one from Caleb, one from Rudy and even one from Dewey), my gifts (a spa gift certificate, a pack of M&M's, a basket of daisies and a balloon) and eat my breakfast that they had gone to get. Then it was time to get ready for church. We made it just in time and had a very nice Mother's Day service. After church, we came home to our leftovers and Caleb went down for his nap. Rudy says he plans to mow the yard and maybe watch some golf today. I plan to do a whole lot of nothing! I love Mother's Day!

On a slightly different note - Caleb has finally learned to sign "more." He suddenly does it all the time now and gets the biggest kick out of it. We're trying to teach him "all done," "milk" and "drink" too, but those are coming a little slower. Right now, he just wants "more."

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Bye-Bye, Bottles!

We went cold turkey on bottles this week. That approach worked so well with the pacifiers that we decided it must be the way to go with Caleb. So - over the past couple of months, we've been giving Caleb a sippy cup every once in a while. On Saturday, we went full-fledged sippy!

We had a night out with some friends on Friday, so Caleb spent the night with Jerry, Sherry and Rebecca. Saturday night, when it was time for bed, I loaded up a sippy with some milk and we headed for the rocking chair. He looked at me like I was a little crazy, but took the cup anyway. It was when I tried to put him down to bed that he fell apart. He cried and struggled to go to bed for almost an hour. He finally wore himself out and went on to sleep. I felt so bad for him, but I know this is the best thing. He needs to move on from his bottles and now is the time to do it. Besides - it's easier on everyone if we do it before he can say, "I want my bottle!" with tears in his eyes. Since then, he's done okay. He takes the sippy cups well and we've found that he does best with the Gerber cups, rather than the Playtex ones. I would love to be able to give him the Avent cups, since they vent out air, but they are about $4.00 each and that's just ridiculous! The ones he has now make him burp like a grown man, but he gets a big smile on his face when he does it, so I guess that's not so bad.

Last night, our real estate agent had a "rush hour open house" from 5-7, so we had to get out of the house. We went to Joe's Crab Shack for dinner and Caleb loved it! That restaurant has stuff all over the walls and hanging from the ceiling, so he had plenty to look at. There was a huge shark hanging from the ceiling right above our table and Caleb was very amused by that. He kept pointing at things all over the restaurant and yelling, "Dah!" Plus...he has officially started dancing! He's been imitating me when I sing and dance by bouncing a little bit, but last night, he did it all by himself. He heard Elvis' "Hunk of Burnin' Love" and I laughed out loud when I noticed that he was bouncing in his chair dancing. He was the hit of the restaurant!

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Growling

My child has started growling. It is his favorite form of protest. He growls and kicks his feet. Oh, boy! I really think that he is frustrated about not being able to do things or communicate, but it is not cute - not at all. It bought him a few minutes alone in his crib yesterday. Not cute.

One Year Old!

Caleb's first birthday wasn't quite what I had envisioned, but it was wonderful all the same!

Caleb's party was supposed to be at 4:30 on Tuesday at Vlasis Park. I watched The Weather Channel website all day hoping that the rain would hold off until after the party. I left work at 3:00 and went to ice down drinks. As I was pulling out of the gas station, I heard the first clap of thunder. With thunder and gray clouds, comes lightning and I just knew our plans were going to have to change. I got busy calling all of the party guests and told them to come to our house instead. By the time I got home, I was in a frenzy. Rudy wasn't feeling well (ear infection and allergies) so he was struggling to keep up. I got the floor swept, the cupcakes on plates and the drinks in the fridge with about 10 minutes to spare! We had a great turn-out: Jenny, Michael, Colleen, Carrie, Drew, Jen, Broc, Kynan, Gabe and Jerry all came to share in Caleb's big celebration! We had a great time and Caleb got some wonderful gifts. He got some new Little People toys, some books, bubbles, blocks and a ride-on firetruck. The kids had a great time playing with all of the new stuff and Caleb was too young to care that everyone was playing with his new toys. It was wonderful.

As the party started, I realized that this was an unknown world for me. I've never been the mother of the birthday boy before and I really didn't know how to run a toddler party. Jen assured me that whatever I did would be fine, so I went with it! We put a vinyl tablecloth in the middle of the living room and gave the kids cupcakes. WHAT A MESS! Then all of the kids helped Caleb open his presents while the grown-ups laughed and watched them. It was really fun once I relaxed and let it all unfold.
After the party, Rudy and I decided to have dinner at the same place where we had dinner last year on May 1st: Bandana's BBQ. The only difference was that we needed a highchair this year! Jenny joined us for dinner and we reminisced about last May. What a difference a year makes!

When we got home from dinner, Caleb and I played with some of his new toys and then he went to bed. Rudy cleaned up the kitchen and I cleaned up the rest of the party remainders.
I greeted Caleb on Wednesday morning with a big, "Happy Birthday!" He was in a great mood, standing in his crib and smiling at me. It was almost like he knew that it was a special day for him. We went about our morning like normal and I spent the whole day thinking about "where was I this time last year?" At 2:04 PM, I was sitting in an IEP meeting at Uthoff Valley Elementary. I looked at my watch and smiled a warm smile. My baby had officially turned one. Amazing.

When I left the meeting, I went to the grocery store to get a cake for Caleb and then picked him up at Carrie's. We went home and played and enjoyed our afternoon together. Rudy got home about 6:00 and helped me get Caleb ready for his big photo shoot! Since before Caleb was born, I had planned to take pictures of him with his first birthday cake and the time had come. I hung a plastic tablecloth as a backdrop/floor covering. We stripped Caleb down to his diaper and then put the cake in front of him. He was delighted! He slowly but surely demolished that cake. Those pictures will be forever treasured. Once the cake party was over, we took him upstairs to the tub (with his legs in a plastic bag so he wouldn't drip cake everywhere) and sprayed him off. We played some more in the evening and both Grandma Jan and LaLa called to wish him a very happy birthday. Rudy gave him a bath and then we got him ready for bed. In the end, it was a wonderful day. I love my one-year-old boy and all of the ups and downs that come along with him. Most people say that when you have a baby, your life gets turned upside down. I prefer to say that when I had Caleb, he turned my life rightside up.